Absolution

 

Disarming…

 

That’s the word he chose

to describe the many things

that she did to his reason.

 

She filled a room with her torrential smile;

her half-lidded glances, drawing

his eyes across the space, forcing

everyone else to fade, fall away, seep

into the blank white walls, where

their shapes became nothingness…

 

In him she found the consciousness

that she lost in so many dark streets,

discarded in so many ruined sanctuaries,

and yet, it was hovering above him like an aura

that he was completely unaware existed.

 

The recesses in her mind filled,

almost immediately,

with random thoughts, mindless

brushings of anticipation and

inside of herself something stirred

like the wings of a fledgling in first flight.

Reviews

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I have to agree with FoolsGold, though for me it's more reserved towards the last line specifically. Something in the idea of a first flight, and touching off of a life that is green, or newborn, something that has never had the experience before and treading into an unknown territory, it seems to spell everything out without any imperfection.
This might sound weird, but I am oddly drawn to the fact that this poem is perfectly symmetrical. There has to be meaning in that somehow. I know that it is the...intention of some poets to construct a piece that creates an image with the words themselves. I've seen poems that talk about something simple like a tornado, and the stanzas move back and forth in their spacing so that it creates the image of a whirling tunnel or vortex to create an added punch to their poems. I don't know if that was the intention you had here, or if there is some meaning in that. But like I said, I feel drawn to the fact that this poem is symmetrical.

[FoolsGold23]

"inside of herself, something stirred/like the wings of a fledgleing in it's first flight." that is the most singularly tender point in this whole poem! It was fantastically written, tender and yet, reserved, only till the end did the true idea come out. Lovely work, "in him she found the conciousness" wow, beautiful.~Pyrite

[Dani California]

Incredible.
If this isn't the epitome of love, it doesn't exist.

Wow!!!

I am highly taken and impressed by this poem.
I re-read to pick out a stanza which stirred me
the most, and I could not pick a favorite as they
were all... perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I am truly struck by your work. My heart is still
trying to find its way back -- as it leaped out of
my chest while reading this.

Work like this is why people read poetry...
Beautiful...