Renewal

 

“It’s cold,” she whispers to the night,

walking through an empty house,

the sound of silence gaining momentum

until its sharp buzz is the only thing she hears.

 

Pouring a glass of wine, she studies the color

of red on red briefly before sipping

the tart nectar and following her feet

to a room of dancing steam

where a freshly drawn bath beckons.

 

Skin on tile, she sits at the edge,

drawing her hand gently across the surface

and feeling the first of her worries spill

from within her disquieted mind, and

float away on wings of vapor.

 

Toe first she enters the pool of heat,

letting the warm water slide

slowly across her bare skin,

feeling with each shallow breath

the soothing salve massage away the tension

stored in muscles too long burdened by pressure.

 

Immersed, she breathes rhythmically

 

one breath,

two,

three,

 

until, with closed eyes, her mind dives

off the rocky edge of insanity,

and she sinks slowly beneath the surface

into the peaceful water where

the only sound is her own heartbeat

and the slow hum of healing.

Reviews

[C.R. Moore "Lasla"]

Painting with words ......Excellent work ! I was transported into the watery world of a stress free watery world !!!I

[A Forsaken Dream]

You are very talented and this is the first piece i have read from you and I can only say two words: Astonishingly Beautiful.

-James

[bluessadmood]

the cold of the night ,the emptiness around,the wine,ready to wipe the sorrows away,why did i feel as if you tried to make it like a movie ,slow motion movie,rolling around,as tension builds up slowly,then the hot steam of the refreshing bath calling you ,bath always ,sign of relief,of worries cleaning themselves and melting away,its a sign of of refreshment like beginning of another life..worries spill from within her disquieted mind and float away on wing of vapor..your lovely words,and the water massage away the tension in muscles burdened for long by oppressing pressures,and yes i am sure she sinks herself in to death,eyes close to eternal relief ,mind sway away from sanity,and she sinks beneath water,where now only the sound of her heart beat,as the last struggle towards healing and lasting peace, my God this was great ,a masterpiece of beautiful art,you are doing one great job after the other ,please ,please go on tell us all you have,tell us more ,let us drink with you the wine of eternal relief ,you surely could tell us more about the beauty of life and still more beauty of death ..wonderful my friend,i am amazed more and more...

[Windy]

Amazing write, flowed so well I felt as if it were floating. Extremely 'smooth" with imagery that can only be described as amazing, reality in slow motion, relaxing... I wasn't sure at the end when you spoke of her mind diving off the rocky edge of insanity as she sank below the water if she was drowning, yet peacefully as if the healing was her dying, being rid of all her pain and problems (the empty, cold house, talking to herself or the house =ing loniness?)? hmm still not sure, though all the other reviews seem to think of it as just a relaxing bath. Even the title "Renewal" could go either way, though sounds more like a good bath.. ! Oh well, just my thoughts... Very well written, a great read. kuddos ;)

[Loribeth215]

This makes me want a nice bubble bath right about now!!! :)

[Scott H.]

THe imagery you use in this is fantastic, and the descriptions are spot-on perfect. Well written!

[Don Coorough]

The temperature here is a real key. I was immediately impressed by the way the poem begins in the cold of an empty house, and then added the heat of the wine, then the heat of steam, your building, increasing the temperature, until, your worries turn to vapor which can cease to exist. But, you don't stop. You put your toe into the hot bath. Then you enter it. The heat still rising throughout and the tempo increasing too. Finally, you completely immerse yourself into the soothing, wet, warm relaxation taking you over. This is really a metamorphic ride, transformation. Beautiful. You're muse is singing to you with a brave and bold voice. This is excellent! - EllisD

[[untitled]]

Mm, that sounds nice. It's funny how you've turned something so simple as a bath into something so poetic, especially in the way that you describe the stress and worries melting away.
It sounds so enticing too, wine and a hot bath. =) The answer to all stress problems.