Castle By The Ocean

A ghost in a castle has a visitor.

Small white castle 

With a tall white tower

Made of white rock

By the hands of ghosts in the fog

 

How is it that I am here

In these hollow halls

These barren rooms

Untouched by the bitter salty sea breeze?

 

These transparent curtains hang from heaven

And touch the earth

All around

And hide me from the rest of the world

 

Why is it that I fall from the tower

Down the jagged cliff

Into the turbulent winter ocean

And awake on the cold stone floor

Of the cold stone castle

 

Why is it that just around the corner I see you

But when I am there

You are not?

Are you the voice that leads me to the top?

 

Sometimes when I sing at night

I see your shadow

You try to stay out of view

And I like knowing you think you are

 

One time I saw you

But your long chestnut hair

Thick lashes and

Light blue eyes ran away in terror 

 

You're the same age as I was

When I threw myself from the tower

I know you saw me too

I'm sorry if I frighten you

 

Why do you come to my tower?

Are you searching for the fair maiden

Who took her life

Those many centuries ago?

 

She's here with you

Wondering how long you'll stay

Cherishing your translucent company

Hoping one day to see your face once more

 

In my stone cold castle on an ocean's rocky cliff

I live alone with my last and only memory

But sometimes at night I see a curious shadow

And pray it is that beautiful curious girl

Reviews

[Jesse Domingos]

It's very good. Haunting and I'm not making a pun either. It has great imagery in it, good and a beautiful poem. I was confused at first by the first couple of stanzas with the castle being built by ghosts in the fog and the curtain that hides you from the mortal world. The ghost int he fog made it sound like the castle was in heaven or it the castle it self was a ghost, as if it only existed on an other plane of sight. The curtain just kinda threw me off a little but as I kept reading it was clearer to me and I really like this poem, great job. It might have just me being confused, so please don't let that make you think you have to do changes. Thank you and Keep writing.

[Anna Ivy]

Thanks! I'm glad it cleared up for you, I'm notorious for being vague D:

[joshua deathdealer]

Nicely done. I love the haunting feel. The ghost story woven into your poem. Great flow and images.

These transparent curtains hang from heaven
And touch the earth
All around
And hide me from the rest of the world....love it.

[Azure Montessa (Blue)]

Great story line. It confused me at first. Ha ;) Interesting and fascinating.. :x

[Moyo Moyo]

Hauntingly beautiful. Lucid, simple, confident, your voice echoes louder and deeper than your words. Like a cold winter breeze foreboding a storm, the poem begins with a shudder and ends with an eager rush for home. Well done.

[Anna Ivy]

What a compliment :) thank you for sharing that

[Vidushi Sharma]

Frankly, wen i was a kid, i use to watch rapunzel and such fairly tales, and wish i could have one such castle..!!! You have portrayed sad loneliness of a girl in such a beautiful way..!!

[Anna Ivy]

Me too! I would love nothing more than to live in a big castle :) thank you!

[Chris]

You've an interesting write... and tell a good story.

[wordwarrior]

Wonderful! it felt to me like the girl was reliving her own death, watching it from another place, kind of hoping the event will change.
Loved reading this. Beautiful!

[Anna Ivy]

Thank you! And possibly... but I'll never say! Bwahaha!
;)

[Simon Welsh]

This would make a great novel.

[Anna Ivy]

Hmm you've got me thinking now. ..
Thank you :)

[Sydney Dreama]

Very cool I really liked it. what I liked best about it was how clear the meaning the poem was.
It made me think of the young adult book Forevermore a little bit.

[Anna Ivy]

Thank you! Haven't heard of it. Might look it up :)

[Veronica]

Very interesting. I like it.

[Anna Ivy]

Thank you Veronica :)