Broken Souls

Broken Souls

A Poem by Anna

You could be dying inside and no one would know until you're gone.
They pretend to care as a favour to themselves, their conscience, but what good is that?
In this game of life it is mind over matter, but does it really matter we all die anyway.
For there really is no winner or loser when your mind overpowers and leaves you stripped as prey. As we embark on this journey of life we seize to accept that the real enemy lies within. It's that thing in our head that tells us we're "too fat", "too ugly", "too short", or "too dumb" to accomplish anything.
We fail to love our perfect imperfections and bring each other down in the process.
Our minds polluted with hatred and rage; teenagers killing themselves and society, the cause of their pain.
But who is really to blame?
Because no one ever knows you are dying inside until you die and they hear your name.

© 2015 Anna


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Featured Review

Such truth and depth. Another great piece ~

Notes:
5th line: "that the really enemy lies within." methinks you meant "real" rather than "really".
8th line: "and rage, teenagers killing themselves and adults the cause of their pain." sounds a bit off, either change the comma to a semi-colon and add a comma after "adults" OR change the last part to something like "and adults that cause their pain".

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anna

4 Years Ago

Appreciate the feedback, changes have been made.



Reviews

Such truth and depth. Another great piece ~

Notes:
5th line: "that the really enemy lies within." methinks you meant "real" rather than "really".
8th line: "and rage, teenagers killing themselves and adults the cause of their pain." sounds a bit off, either change the comma to a semi-colon and add a comma after "adults" OR change the last part to something like "and adults that cause their pain".

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anna

4 Years Ago

Appreciate the feedback, changes have been made.
Such sadness from your pen.Yet so much truth being written.I have discovered life is too short to sweat all the insignificant remarks from another.How we view ourselves matters most we are not here to please others.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This has great depth and a ton of truth, well written piece, if you have a chance, take a look
at two pieces I have called peace and hate, it goes along with what your saying we do to ourselves, thanks for sharing, PTL.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Anna

4 Years Ago

Thank you, and sure will!
you are your own worse enemy,don`t be so hard on your self

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"You could be dieing inside and no one would know until you're gone."

Powerful Line.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was so good. Your writing is so deep and personal. I love that last line. It gave me chills.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Anna

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much :)

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363 Views
6 Reviews
Rating
Added on January 27, 2015
Last Updated on February 8, 2015
Tags: spoken word, poem, teens, depression

Author

Anna
Anna

Toronto, Canada



Writing
Pen to Paper Pen to Paper

A Poem by Anna



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