The Clock Stops

I'm in a mood, and that's that.

Disaster, faster
full steam ahead
stream crossing

my dream disappears

less than more
the doleful tune
mourns the misdirection

reflection rejected

fantasy forlorn
fallen gracelessly
no answers

to stupid questions

fallout, knocks out
the losing racer trips
at the first hurdle

the last one

too many irons
melted in the fire
the trumpets sound

the clock stops

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we are just racing through life tripping carelessly over hurtles that should make us stronger when they only make us more reckless....and when too many irons are in the fire...we burn out.
i like the poem within the poem here, the alliteration..and the fast pace which for me, matches my interpretation of this piece....like it lots.
j.

[Anne Martin]

I only just thought of this, but the italic lines act like the hurdles, trying to slow us down, as we race towards death. Thanks for your comments.

[Jibey]

Nicely constructed, the poem races to its conclusion and all the hopes and fears are over. I hope I got the point!

[Anne Martin]

Well, yes ... but with a twist. Something people used to do when someone died was stop all the clocks in the house. It was a superstition. It's about failing and death. Yes, the hopes were there and all were dashed. Someone closed to me faced death this week, but fortunately survived. I wrote this before I knew the outcome.

There are a bunch of oblique clues: crossing the stream (like the Styx), the doleful tune (Taps), the fallen, tripping at the first hurdle being the last, the trumpets sounding Revelation, the fire, and finally the stopping clock.

I was feeling pretty low when I wrote this.

[Jibey]

I got the clock stopping - though thought this was just a metaphor for death and was not aware of the tradition; the Styx I missed the Taps (and am not sure what this means, still?), I understood about the last trumpet (actually 1 Corinthians 15 - I think the Revelation ones are about the unfolding of events in history).

Anyway, it was even cleverer that I twigged and I take my hat off to you for thinking all that out and weaving it into such a well constructed piece when you were feeling so low.

[Anne Martin]

Taps is what they military played when it was time to put out the fires and go to sleep. It's like the Last Post, which has a similar connotation, possibly going sleep for the last time.

[Jibey]

Thanks for that clarification - and apologies for all the typos on my comment. I meant 'cleverer than' not 'that'.

[Anne Martin]

I think I read it as a typo, actually. No probs.