Chapter 01 - Halloween

Chapter 01 - Halloween

A Chapter by Anne Versteeg

Fiction - Chapter 01 of Holding on and Letting go


Holding on and Letting go.
By Anne Versteeg, 2013


There is a norm for everything. For love and relationships, but if you discover that there are different roads to every destination, do you follow the crowd? Or do you follow your own course if you find that that makes you much happier? Nothing comes more natural than to follow your heart, but would you if it's not deemed 'normal'?

Chapter 01 - Halloween.

It was getting light outside. Rosike woke up by David, who was getting dressed for work. She checked her alarm, it was only half past six. "Have you got work this early?", she asked him, still half asleep.
"Yes, I promised the guys to be there, so we could prepare the presentation for later today.", he replied.
"Oh, okay... Have a great day." She got comfortable again and David leaned over the bed. "Enjoy your lay in", he kissed her, before leaving the room. Rosie turned around and went back to snoozing.

Rosie Burnett was twentie four years old when she lived in Beek with her boyfriend David. He had moved into her flat and after three years of being together, he had asked her to marry him. David loved to have children, but not before marriage. He was a little old fashioned, but also a true gentleman. He was a sweet and caring man and Rosie loved him dearly.

She got up and looked out of her window. Another day... and another day had gone. She finally started to make sense of the world she lived in. For too long she had been living in a fantasy world, being way to naive and way to kind towards others who liked to take advantage. She had realised now, what a harsh place this world could be and she had decided that is was time to grow up. She enjoyed life, was very open minded and had lots of great things to look forward to with her new relationship and their plans for the future. Yet, somewhere it felt a little off. Like something wasn't right. Maybe she just felt the drag of everyday life.
It had been a couple of years now since she quit her job at theme park Sun Park. She started working there when she was seventeen, as an acteur at the annual Halloween event. Halloween was celebrated as the spectacular ending of the season, before they closed for the winter. For five seasons she had acted during halloween and three of those seasons she had been operating rides from April till October.
Sun Park was it's own little world. It lay in the middle of nowhere. The closest trainstation was a twenty minute drive to Wincaster. Due to it being difficult to reach, many staff members, including Rosie, stayed over at the neighbouring bungalow park. There were little to no adults present and outside work there wasn't a lot else to do. The first bus stop was forty five minutes walk away and if you didn't have a car, that would mean you would be isolated there.
If you stayed on the park, you had to be mentally strong. There were a lot of interesting characters walking around. Sun Park had his own gay community. A group of boys and men who weren't intimidated by anyone. Staff came and went, and every time a new 'potential' gay boy would appear, and it happened a lot, they would be violently ripped out of the closet. 'New meat' they called it. Rosie found it disgusting.
Not that she had anything against homosexuals. She herself was bi-sexual and most of her male friends were gay, as well as her best friend Alfie, her soulmate and her ex-boyfriend. Aiden; the most intriguing and interesting boy she had ever come across. They had met on their first Halloween try out in Sun Park. He was an actor, like she was and they shared the same location. They had fought to be together, shedding blood, sweat and tears. But you don't choose your sexuality, no matter how hard you try. A friendship seemed to become to intimate. With pulling and pushing, cursing and fighting over their relationship, they had pushed each other away so far that he had remained nothing but a dear memory.

Rosie opened her laptop and noticed a new e-mail in her inbox. It titled: 'Sun Park Halloween-reunion trip.' The mail invited her to a huge Halloween event in Phantasialand, Germany. If you worked at a Halloween event in certain theme parks in Europe, including Sun Park, you were welcome to join the Horror Spectaculair. The last three days of October, Phantasialand would be covered in secret cameras. Only invited guests were allowed to spend these three days in the closed-off park and enjoy the thrill and horror. Everything would be recorded as a memorial to those attending.
Rosie read the mail a few times. It sounded like so much fun. There were just a few things that didn't sit right with her. David probably wouldn't like her going alone, but he couldn't join her and Aiden would probably be there too. What if she got to distracted by his presence? What would he do, when he saw her? What would she do when she saw him? Obviously, there would be a lot of people there. Chances were they wouldn't even come across each other. What was she even worrying about? She decided to attend and replied in an e-mail that she would definitely be present. The next thing she did was call her best friend Alfie. He was also a former staff member of Sun Park and he knew Aiden as well as she did. Because he had never done Halloween, he wasn't allowed to come with her, but it was nice to be able to talk about her worries.
Alfie came over and they drank hot chocolate on the sofa. Aiden was still fresh in her memory and sometimes she just had to throw it all out to relieve her mind. She couldn't talk to David about it, as he still felt threatened by her feelings for him. Alfie smiled and gave her a hug. "Don't you worry about a thing, sweetie”, he assured her. “Find yourself some friends and focus on all that is happening around you. If you do come across him, just be friendly and polite. Greet him and continue on."
"I know, it's as simple as that", she replied. "I just can't help myself. Maybe I'm just obsessed with Aiden. I just feel like I never got over him and meeting him again..."
"It will be fine, sweetheart. He is just a person like you are."
"I know..." She noticed Alfie looking up at the living room door. She turned around to find David, standing there. "Hey...", she greeted him.
"Hey Rosie", he replied. "Have you... have you by any chance seen my laptop anywhere?"
"Yes, it should be in your office, where you used it yesterday." He turned around and walked to his office. Rosie could feel a little knot in her stomach. She watched him return with his laptop. "I eh...", he said as he put it in it's bag, "I will be late this evening. Don't wait with dinner, just put my plate in the fridge for me, will you?"
"Sure... no problem.", she replied and he left again. She looked at Alfie. "How much of our conversation do you think he picked up?"
"I don't know", he answered as he shrugged. "Hopefully not too much..."

It took three months till the Horror Spectaculair. Rosie had told David and as she expected, he wasn't to keen on her leaving on her own, but she insisted she'd go. He just had to deal with it. She had packed her suitcase, arranged time off work and she felt excited to go. David hadn't said much about it after their initial conversation and the few day's before her leaving, he had become very quiet towards her. She had her suitcase in the corridor and wanted to kiss him goodbye. "Is Alfie coming too?", he asked her before he let her kiss him.
"No, Alfie has never joined Halloween", she replied.
"What are the accommodations like?"
"From my understanding we sleep in hotels."
"You get your own room?"
"No, we share rooms."
"And...", David kept asking questions, "Who do you share a room with?"
"I don't know yet", she answered. "Why? What's wrong?"
"Nothing..." He looked at his shoes. "I'm just going to miss you. That's all..." Rosie gave him a hug and a kiss. "I will miss you too. It's only three days. I'll be back before you know it."
He didn't reply to that and watched her leave for the elevator.
The trains were so busy. It seemed like everyone was on their way to Germany. On Keulen train station you almost couldn't walk left or right. Many people in their themepark coats were trying to make their way to the busses. Everyone seemed very excited and it made for a happy atmosphere.
When she finally arrived at Phantasialand, she was directed to one of the hotels, to drop off all her luggage. The rooms were divided and she couldn't be happier with her roommates. All former friends and colleagues of her.

They had two hours before everyone was required to move towards Phantasialand main street. It was time for the starting ceremonie. She tried to stay with her friends, as she didn't want to lose them in the crowd. "Isn't this amazing?", Sam asked her and she nodded. Her and Sam had a thing for a month, after she had broken up with Aiden, but they parted as friends, as Rosie wasn't, at the time, at all ready for a new relationship. It was good to see her again. She was still very beautiful. The lights on the stage in front of them light up and Rosie noticed how the gates behind them were closed off with heavy chains. A team of doctors arrived on the stage. Sam translated for her what was being said, as Rosie barely spoke any German. A medical team was doing research on the effects of long term traumatic stress. "Nice...", Rosie replied. "And I guess we are the test subjects?"
"Yes", she explained.
A dark voice came over the speakers; "Haben Sie Angst?" Thick mist started spreading along the square and their fate now rested in the hands of this dodgy looking medical team. A dark melody started playing and Rosie got goosebumps. "Phantasialand möchte Sie ganz herzlich begrüßen zum unsrem Horror Spectaculair!" Fire and thunder, something moved in the mist. Rosie felt uncomfortable as she noticed things were happening, but she couldn't figure out what. People were talking around her, but appart from that it was too quiet. She turned around. Did something touch her?
"WHLEEEEEE!", a character jumped up in front of her, it happened to suddenly and Rosie fled, scared into the arms of the person behind her. From everywhere, creatures and monsters popped out of the mist to scare people. People started laughing as it must have looked very funny, all those scared, screaming victims. All Rosie could see was the Sun Park coat she was hiding against. Suddenly she recognized the smell coming from the coat and the laugh from the person wearing it. She took a step back and looked up. Of course it was; Aiden Reece. "That never gets old", he laughed.
"Oh sure...", she replied, annoyed. "Creeps always go for me..." She took a deep breath as she tried to keep a straight face as she felt a knot in her stomach. She turned back around to the stage. "Oh Jeez...!", she screamed as the character still stood there and snapped at her. It took her a fraction of a second to hesitate, but stepped back in Aiden's secure arms. He just kept laughing as he seemed to enjoy watching her suffer. "Are you alright?", Sam asked her, as she tried to keep it together, laughing as hard as she did.
"Sure...", Rosie replied.
"Are you sure?", Aiden asked her as she was still trying to hide against his coat.
"Just give me a second." She pulled it together and stepped back again. She couldn't hide in his arms forever. Aiden just smiled friendly. She smiled back and turned again. How could she concentrate now? She was missing half the show, just because she was aware that he was right behind her.

After everyone was released into the park, Rosie lost sight of Aiden. Probably best too. It didn't take long though, before she spotted him again. Her, Sam and two other girls were queueing for their second thrillhouse, when she noticed him standing a few feet back with some of his friends. Why did her heart beat as loud? Why did he still affect her so much? She kept wanted to look back at him, but didn't. Finally they were allowed in, after almost an hour of queueing. A gravedigger lead them into the mortuarium. It was so well put together. The music was intimidating and the actors were playing their part down to a T. They must have noticed that she wasn't feeling as brave, because they kept coming for her. Rosie had enough, but she couldn't just leave. Sam was having so much fun that she didn't even notice how uncomfortable Rosie was. When they passed through a room with dead bodies and one jumped up, just next to her, she couldn't take it any more and dove away into a corner. She didn't want to make a fuss, but she just needed a moment to pull herself together. Sam didn't notice and disappeared out of view. She was all alone now, despite people walking past her. It didn't take long before she spotted Aiden and his friends coming into the room. She crawled away even further as she didn't to be seen. Aiden walked right passed her, but Thomas, also a friend at the time noticed her and came down to her. "Rosie, are you okay?", he asked laughing. Suddenly a cold hand lifted her face up and Aiden looked right at her. He seemed very serious. "Are you alright?", he asked her.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine", she replied.
"You don't look fine." He pulled her to her feet. "Do I need to escort you through the rest of the house?"
"No, really, I'm fine." He didn't believe her one bit and locked his arm around hers.
"I'll guide you", he said and took her with him as they were holding up the line and people were getting attenuated. Rosie had experience going through haunted houses with Aiden and she wasn't sure if she liked it. "Please do me a favour", she begged him. "No jokes or anything..."
"Would I ever?", he replied and she knew exactly what time it was. Would I ever, he said... Of course he joked around with her. Making her even more scared than she already was. He even took the liberty of scaring her himself whenever he could. "Will you stop it, please?!", she yelled annoyed. "If this is you helping, then don't help!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", he laughed. "I promise, it won't happen again." He put his arm around her shoulder and behaved himself till they finally stood outside.

Rosie was relieved to be away from the thrill house. Aiden still had his arm around her and she noticed how the rest of his group just wandered off.
"Is there anything more safe then the arm of an old friend?", he asked her and started rubbing her shoulder. "It's getting pretty chilly, you shouldn't get cold." Rosie didn't understand. Normally he would keep his distance, but then again, he was very good in attracting and then pushing her away again. Maybe he was in a good mood.
Rosie looked around her and felt a strange sensation when she thought she recognised David... How was that possible? Maybe she was mistaken. He did seem to wear a theme park coat from a different park. Maybe someone just looked like him. There was no way he could possibly be here.
"Are you coming?", Aiden asked her when he noticed her slowing down.
"Yeah... sure...", she responded, trying to lose the thought of David. "Where are we going?"
"Having dinner", he replied and they started walking in the direction of one of the many restaurants.

Dinner was served. It looked amazing. Everything was prepared to look like an Addams Family buffet. It tasted amazing too. Aiden was sat next to her and seemed to very much enjoy her company. Rosie had to admit to herself that she was enjoying his. They recalled memories from their own Halloween nights in Sun Park and talked about their current event. "This is so much fun", he said enthusiastic. "We should do this more often."
Rosie smiled. She would have loved to, but she knew Aiden said a lot of things. Half of which he probably didn't even mean. After this weekend he would disappear again and she wouldn't hear anything from him till the next time they would bump into each other.

After dinner it was back to the hotel for scary bedtime stories in the lounge. It was supposed to be another impressive part of the Horror Spectaculair, with sound and light effects. They were looking forward to it. Rosie had taken Aiden's arm, as it just felt right and she noticed how former colleagues were looking at them. Most of these people had experienced the break-up and the drama following, first hand. They seemed relieved to see that they got along so well.
"Rosie...", she suddenly heard and she turned around to be surprised by David. He stood behind her, wearing that same coat she saw him in earlier, when she thought is wasn't him.
"What are you doing here?", she asked him. "How did you get inside? What did you do?"
"What are you doing?", he threw back at her. "Look at yourself, are you proud now?"
"What do you mean?"
He took a deep breath. "Do you think I'm stupid, Rosie? Do you think I'm deaf and blind? I heard that conversation you had with Alfie and it was bothering me. I was sure, you would never do anything to hurt me, that you were loyal. But look at you now. You are all over that gay ex-boyfriend of yours. He could never love you, and yet, you are to stubborn to let go of him. You disgust me."
"David...", she wanted to explain that they were just having a nice conversation, but he wouldn't let her.
"I know what you're doing", he continued. "You are using me. One look from him and you would be out the door, back into his arms. I'm just here as a replacement. You don't care about me and I'm sick of it!"
She felt really guilty now. Not only towards David, but towards Aiden as well, as he was still stood behind her, listening to everything that was being said.
"I am sorry David. I can't help the fact that my body reacts to his... it's something that's out of my control."
"Out of your control", he repeated. "If what you say is true, then why would you hang around him like you do? No, I've had enough. You think about this miss Burnett. We had plans together, you and I. Marrige, children... Have you forgotten about that already? If I am the one you love than you can forget about him and be with me. If you are unsure, than sort it out!"
He turned around and ren off, leaving Rosie on the path.
Many people had gathered around to see what the fuss was all about. Very slowly she turned around to look at Aiden, who seemed as speechless as she was. She looked around at all the other people and started laughing sarcastically. "What a show huh?", she asked. "If you will all excuse me... I'm going to end my life... right now", and she ren off in the opposite direction of David's.

She was so confused. What was going on? Why was this happening? She wanted to leave, but knew the gates were closed, and where would she go? Wondering around the empty park, she spotted the open air theater in the distance and decided to sneak in. On the stage stood the large set of the Vampire show. Large empty coffins made for a perfect hiding spot and she crawled in the one closest to her. What a mess. In the distance she could hear people shouting her name. They were looking for her, but she didn't want to be found. She was too ashamed. After a while it got quiet again. It was cold and windy and her head was spinning. What must Aiden be thinking of her now? He should have realised by now how obsessed she was with him. Things were going so smoothly between them this evening and David had to come and spoil it all. But could she blame him? This was all her own fault. Aiden would probably never talk to her again, and she deserved it. She got pulled away from her thoughts when she heard a noise at the gate. Someone was coming into the theater. She tried to hide away, not to be seen. Footsteps came in her direction and someone seemed to look around the stage, probably looking for her.
"So here you are", she suddenly heard Aiden's voice. He had found her. He released a sigh of relieve and climbed into the large coffin to sit next to her. She didn't dare say anything.
"This is cosy", he said. "Is this how you wanted to end your life? Just wait here till a Vampire comes to have you for dinner? It does suit you though." He laughed.
"Am I not dead yet?", she asked.
Aiden sighed again. "Rosie...", he started, "What your boyfriend said... what you said..."
She knew it. This was going to end in drama and Halloween would be ruined, if it wasn't already.
"I'm sorry... I can't help it", she replied quietly. "I don't know how to behave around you... or how to contain myself... It seems to be one or the other, I either love you or I hate you... and it's making me nervous..."
"So you try to play it cool", he adds.
"Either getting too close or keeping my distance..."
"Trying to find a way to deal with your emotions..."
Rosie nodded. "Exactly..." she took a deep breath. "Well, I don't mind staying here tonight. If no one else finds me here. I'll leave in the morning."
"Why?", he asked her.
"Because I'm ashamed, that's why. If I go back to my room they will ask me what happened and I don't want to explain any of this."
"No", he decided. "You know what? I'm one of those lucky ones who doesn't have to share a room. It's a single room. How about you don't go back to your room, but stay with me instead. If you still want to leave in the morning, that's fine. At least you don't catch a cold out here. What do you say? Because I ain't staying here all night to accompany you."
Rosie sighed again. "Okay...", she agreed. "Things can't get any worse than this anyway..."
They took a slow walk back to the hotel. The wind had picked up and the temperature had dropped even lower. When they entered, Rosie was relieved to find that everyone was already in their rooms. They took the stairs to the third floor and entered Aiden's bedroom. "A single bed...", Rosie mumbled when she looked around the room.
"Well yes", he replied. "I did told you it was a single room. What did you expect?" He laughed, but she didn't find it as funny.
"Oh, come on", he joked as he started undressing. "Just pull yourself together. It's just for sleeping, you know."
"I know...", she replied and started undressing herself. He crawled in bed and left her space. "Don't get too cold", he teased her, as he held the duvet open for her. She crawled down next to him, sharing one pillow and one duvet. "This is cosy", he joked.
"I guess", she replied.

It was a little awkward, but she secretly enjoyed it. He must have known, after all that had happened that evening. She could feel his warmth and his heartbeat. Lying there, she noticed how exhausted she actually was. She yawned, just thinking about it.
"Are you tired?", he asked and she nodded. It had been a long and busy day. She wanted to go to sleep, but had trouble, as she felt his eyes on her. She looked up. She was right. He was looking at her with a smile on his face. They looked at each other for a moment before he sighed.
"What?", she asked.
"I would like to try something", he replied. "Mind you, it might get very awkward or confusing... I just need to know something." There was a silence. He came closer and gave her a kiss, slowly. Her heart started pounding and she didn't quite know if he expected anything of her. He stayed very close to her. She longed to kiss him again, but wasn't sure if that was a good idea. Their interaction seemed so fragile. She was scared to break it. All she could hear was the both of them breathing and she closed her eyes. If felt so right, having him close to her again. She was waiting for the moment when he would kiss her goodnight on the forehead, but he didn't. Instead, he kissed her again, passionate and intensive. Was this happening? She carefully put her arms around him and helt him tight. She knew that she was still together with David, but he had told her to sort her s**t out, and she did in her own way. He had confronted her and opened a door, Aiden just walked straight through and she wasn't going to stop him.
They kissed, for what seemed like eternity before they started to giggle. He had such a sweet face. Rosie couldn't believe what was happening. When he took her t-shirt off, she started to worry. What if, after all this time, her female body had become unattractive to him? What if it caused problems? But Aiden wasn't holding back. He didn't seem to share her worries. She could hear him chuckle. "Strange huh?", he asked her. "Did you ever imagine we would end up here again?"
"So, you are saying I'm not dreaming?", she replied and he laughed again. "If it is", he said, "I hope we never wake up." He kissed her again.
Rosie had to dream. It was so natural, so passionate. She felt like she had never made love like this before. They held on to each other, almost scared to let go and realise that reality was completely different. Maybe this was a hopeless attempt on love, or maybe he had just felt lonely. She couldn't think about it as much as she nodded off and fell asleep, in the comfort of his arms.

The next morning when she woke up, she thought she had been dreaming again. It could have never had happened. She was probably at home, with David next to her. He was stroking her hair and kissed her. "Goodmorning Sleeping Beauty", she heard. That wasn't David. She didn't want to open her eyes, scared it might still be a dream. "Time for breakfast", she heard again and she opened her eyes. Aiden was laying right beside her and smiled.
"Am I still dreaming?", she asked.
He laughed. "I was asking myself the same question, but I pinched myself and it hurt, so no I guess we're not. So... how about a shower?"
"A shower sounds nice." Aiden helped her out of bed and they walked straight into the bathroom.

That lucky b*****d, he even had a bath for himself. Why was he always this lucky? As she was here, guess what made her lucky too. They turned on the shower and watched each other's backs.
"I have a strange question", Aiden said as they enjoyed the warm water. "Especially now that we're under the shower, but something is eating me."
"Where do we go from here?", she finished his question.
He nodded. "You're still in a relationship, although I fear there might not be a lot left of that. How long were you together? About three years?"
Rosie nodded and he continued; "I can imagine that you need some time before you want to start anything new... and to be fair, I'm getting a little confused about everything I'm feeling. I thought I was over you... Please don't get me wrong." He gave her a kiss. "I love being with you like this, but not to long ago I got to terms with the fact that I'm gay and now... now I'm not so sure anymore. I might be bi-sexual after all... are you... still bi?"
"Of course", she replied. "And we don't have to do anything. Maybe just give it time and see what happens. We have a history together and I don't want to repeat it. It hurt to much..."
"You understand exactly what I mean. Let's think first. Figure out if it is any use to start over again..." It got quiet. She couldn't believe that she just said that, but it was the sensible thing to do. She looked at him. Why was this boy so tall and handsome? Why was he haunting her dreams so much? She had never thought to be this close to him again. "Question", she eventually said. "Is it weird to say that in the meantime, I would still like to see you?"
He chuckled. "Not at all", he replied. "I suppose we could date in the meantime. Get to know each other again." Rosie thought this was a very nice idea. "So, could we call last night a first date then?", she asked.
"Isn't it still? Halloween isn't over yet, you know. Oh, and I have a very good idea for a second date too." He grinned and wouldn't say any more about it.
"Oh come on", Rosie moaned. "You know I don't like surprises."
"Only too well. That's why I'm keeping it a surprise. Just make sure you keep the fourth, till the eleventh of November free."
"I've got work you know. How do you expect me to do that?"
"You'll think of something", he replied, still grinning. Rosie sighed. "I'll do my best, but you better make it worth it", she said.
"I will." He gave her another kiss. "You know I don't like disappointing you."
"Oh, you don't?"
"Come on, Rosie." She smiled sneakily. "Alright then", she replied. "I think we better get ready, before everyone else eats all the breakfast." She wanted to step out of the shower but he stopped her and kissed her properly. There was so much passion. He could control her body like it was his own and she wasn't complaining.

Forty minutes later they finally stumbled into the restaurant. Rosie had been right. There was barely anything left to eat, but some toast and a cup of tea. Not before long, they rushed towards the main gates of Phantasialand, for a second day of horrors and terrors. All the rides were open and all the freaks were released.
"So", he said as they walked the main street. "What's the plan. Are we having a proper date? Holding hands and everything? Or would you feel uncomfortable with all the others around? People might talk you know?"
Rosie had to think about it for a second. He reminded her that she used to be very sensitive to what others told her about Aiden. It was part of the reason why she had broken up with him, as she couldn't take it anymore back then. She felt a little guilty about it. Aiden was still waiting for a reply. "Well?", he asked.
"I may have let myself be influenced by others a little...", she replied. Aiden laughed sarcastically. "A little, you say?", he said. "Honesty, it was kinda annoying sometimes. What we had may not have been perfect, but it was real. And you kept doubting it because others told you so. A little trust every now and again would have been nice you know."
"I know... I'm sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry... I'm just telling you. You know, I told you once that my preference might go out to men..."
Rosie finished his sentence; "But I was more important than any men on earth... Yes, I remember."
"And you still are." They took a look at each other. Aiden smiled and hugged her. "Oh Rosie, Rosie Rosie. What do I do with you?"
"Don't worry, you're doing fine", she giggled. "A date then?"
"A date it is." They took each other's hand and started their day in Phantasia Horrorland.

Rosie couldn't help but wonder what others might have been thinking. People honestly didn't seem to care much. Some people even seemed relieved that the two got along so well. Probably because that meant there was no drama. As expected, Rosie didn't have any saying in what rides or thrill houses they would go in, even if she didn't want to. She didn't mind a lot. He was there, sharing her fun and her feelings. She was still dreaming.
They had joined the queue for 'Final Justice', a SAW themed thrill house. Luckily, they didn't have to wait to long before they could enter. Rosie wanted to cover her face with her hands, but she couldn't as Aiden was holding them down. He kept whispering in her ear that everything was going to be okay and she just had to trust him. She didn't like it one bit. "Can you at least hold me properly?", she asked him and he laughed. "In a bit", he replied. Not the answer she wanted to hear. They entered a dark, stuffy room. Characters, chained to tables appeared struggling and screaming in a single spotlight. A sudden sawblade came screaming over them. Blood went everywhere. It was a gruesome sight and Rosie wanted to turn away but she couldn't. Frustrated, she managed to free herself from Aiden's grip and she beat him against the shoulder. He laughed at her and hugged her. "You know it's fake, why are you still so scared?", he asked her.
"It's horrible to look at, and with all the scare effects... it's like a roller coaster. I can't anticipate what's coming next and that scares me."
"Of course", he laughed. "That's why it's so terribly fun to take you into these things." Rosie teasingly pushed him away and turned around. She noticed Harry standing behind her and he saw them. He came over and shook his head. "So it's true then, what I've been hearing about the two of you", he said.
"Depends on what you have been hearing", Rosie replied.
"That you got dumped by your boyfriend, because you cheated on him with Aiden, of all people."
"You heard wrong then", Aiden commented.
"So you guy's are not together? It looks like it." He shook his head to Rosie. "What are you doing girl? After all the s**t he pulled on you. Lying, cheating..."
"Harry, that's enough of your vile", Aiden interrupted him. "If you can't say anything nice..."
"Oh, you got a problem with it?"
"Boys please", Rosie stopped the both of them. "Harry, I know you mean well. But what is it to you what we do? I'm sorry if you're jealous, though I'm still not sure who you're jealous off. You never liked us being together in the first place, and I admit you have your reasons, but we are just having fun. That's all. There isn't anything wrong with that, is it?"
Harry shook his head again and lifted his eyebrow. "If you say so. I'm just trying to look out for you, you know. Anyway, have fun then. Don't come crying on my shoulder when the s**t hits the fan." He turned around and walked away. What an interesting conversation for a thrill house. Aiden had to laugh. "As if we would ever..." he commented on Harry's last remark.

The day started of sunny, but later on the temperature dropped. Clouds painted the sky gray and an eerie fog had spread through the park. It made it all that more spooky. On the lake were boats available, pushed around by several Grim Reapers. Aiden had pulled her into one and they made their way to the land of the dead... or just a circle around the lake.
"Isn't this horrifyingly romantic?", Aiden asked as he pulled her close.
"Yes... and terribly cold too", she replied. "Why isn't Halloween a summer event? July or August would be fine by me."
"I know it's cold, but that's why I thought a little boat tour would be nice. Than I can warm you up." She couldn't understand where all his optimism came from. He looked around, to see how many boats were out. Rosie got to thinking. "You know", she eventually said carefully. "In the last five years I build up such a defence mechanism against you, just to protect myself. It feels so strange to just drop it all."
"In case things might go wrong, you mean?", he asked. "We are good in fighting. You are right. What if we screw this up too and leave each other heart broken again?"
Rosie looked away, but he turned her face back to him. "Sweety, I know exactly what you mean. At this moment I’m not thinking about it, just enjoying the moment. My mind it telling me to fight it, as nothing good will come from it, but I just ignore it completely. Maybe not the most sensible choice, but I couldn't care less right now. I enjoy being here with you and that is all that matters." Rosie nodded. He did understand her completely. As if their thoughts were insink.
Aiden came close and rubbed his cold nose over hers. His lips worked like magnets and they kissed again. Sudden whistling distracted them. Some former colleagues in another boat were jokingly teasing them. Who could blame them.

As they strolled around the park, they bumped into another group of old colleagues. A couple of them had been dominating the gay scene in Sun Park and how Rosie had whiched they wouldn't have come across them. Back in the day, they had done their best to break them up when Aiden and Rosie were together. They rather had him as their little boyfriend without him being attached to 'some' girl. In their eyes, Aiden was hiding behind Rosie, using her as a safety guard so he didn't have to admit that he was gay.
"Aiden Reece, what a delight to see you again", Oliver said as he hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.
"Rosie!", she heard. Billy and Kevin came up to her and they hugged. "How are you? You look so good." When she met them, they were so young still. Just peeked around the closet and unfortunately ended up in the wrong group. But they seemed alright.
One guy, who had been standing and looking from a short distance was Owen. He had been her bungalow neighbor and he was the worst. She hated him with a passion. She knew what he was thinking but tried to ignore his eyes completely. He wasn't worth her time. Aiden, on the other hand took the initiative to greet him. "Owen", he said as he walked over. "How are you?" Owen smiled at him and hugged him. She looked around at them and saw that Own was still giving her mean looks. She almost had to laugh. Was he still trying to make her feel bad? Because it wasn't working.
"Aiden, please don't tell me that you're walking around with her?", Owen asked him. "Come on honey, aren't you past that? Do don't have to pretend anymore, we love you just the way you are."
"Dear Owen", he laughed. "Tell yourself whatever you like. I never pretended anything."
"Oh nonsense", Owen replied, but then smiled again and took his arm. "We were just going into the Black Mamba. Are you coming with me?"
"I would love to go in the Mamba, but if you don't mind, I rather take Rosie. She's not a Roller Coaster Superhero and I think I'll feel better knowing she's alright." He took his arm back and turned around to her. "What do you think? Would you fancy a ride in the Black Mamba?"
"Sure", she replied. She didn't really, but she had to take this opportunity to put Owen in his place. judging by his face, he wasn't pleased at all. It only made her feel better. He was such a jealous little prick.

Later that evening, after dinner, they had been going through the hotel to see what it had to offer. They discovered the roof terrace and had taken a seat. It was cold, but quite enjoyable. They could see the whole park from here and it was a sight to behold. Aiden started laughing and Rosie wondered why.
"Do you remember the first time I took you in the Bat Flight in Sun Park?", he asked, referring to their first date and their first roller coaster ride in the pouring rain.
"Of course I do", she replied. "That was a disaster."
"It was priceless", he laughed. "I'm proud of how you conquered your fear for them."
"Well, what do you expect. I had to endure fourteen months of you forcing me into them."
"Oh, I never forced you to do anything... did you think it was that bad?"
Rosie also started laughing. "No, not at all", she replied. "You were with me. What else could I have wanted?" Aiden put his arms around her and hugged her. He sighed. "And yet...", he said, "you broke up with me..." It got quiet. Rosie felt guilty again. He was absolutely right.
"That's mean", she eventually said. "I already explained it to you. I was insecure and you were avoiding me... but we have had that discussion, so if you don't mind, I rather not get into it again."
"You're right", he agreed. "I could've been a little more supportive... and yet, even though you had all the right to leave me, you came back on your decision and asked me back..."
"Well, you were trying to get back first. Besides, I realised how addicted I was to you. You are my personal brand of drugs, you know. But when I changed my mind, you suddenly didn't want me anymore."
"I never said that", he defended himself. "I needed time to figure myself out. That was, according to you, one of the reasons you broke up with me and I realised that wasn't actually a bad thing." He sighed. "But you just started acting strange around me."
"You did too."
"Did you ever regret getting with me?", he asked.
"No... you?"
"No", he replied. "Maybe I would do things differently if I could do it over... but I never regretted any of it."
"I may have wished a million times that I never met you", she admitted.
"Yes... I think I needed rehab to get over you... which I never got. Breaking up with you had damaged me. I was hurting so badly... what do you expect?"
"True, if you look at it that way", he sighed and tightened his grip on her.
It slowly started raining and it got even colder. Aiden looked at the door behind him. "Would you like to go inside?", he asked her.
"You?", she passed the question back to him.
"Not desperately. I'm still enjoying this. How about we warm up with a bath later?"
"Sounds like a lovely idea", she smiled and they stayed, getting wet and cold on the roof of the hotel.

In the morning, Rosie woke up before Aiden did. She needed a moment to straighten her thoughts and decided to first get some clean clothes from her room. To her luck, the girls were still sleeping and she could sneak in and out unnoticed. It was still early, so she stept out of the hotel and walked around the empty park. There was a low mist and without the wind, the air felt very refreshing. She loved being in Aiden's company, but like they had already discussed, it all happened very quickly and they're weren'd using their heads. She had been dreaming so much that it was time to face reality. Was this really what she wanted? They had grown and changed, but had they changed enough? If they would get back together, what kind of relationship would they have? An closed relationship felt the safest, but an open relationship allowed them to satisfy their sexual urges, when it came to people of the same gender. But would it get awkward and would they be able to stay honest with each other? All these thoughts were getting her even more confused. What if there was no right answer and they just had to play it by ear?
She was certain of one thing though; she was still utterly in love with him and her body and heart wanted nothing else but to be with him. Her head just told her to be conscious and with good reason. They hadn't broken up for nothing. That fear of repeating the same mistakes had manifested itself in another knot in her stomach.
The sun broke through and it was such a lovely morning. She had left her phone in Aiden's room so he knew that she was coming back and he couldn't call her and interrupt her thoughts.

After an hour and a half she decided it was a good idea to head back to the hotel. Breakfast was probably due and she was getting hungry. As she entered the restaurant, she quickly spotted Aiden sitting at one of the tables. He was talking to Thomas and had a empty seat on his other side. She looked at him for a moment and Thomas noticed her, informing Aiden of her presence. He quickly looked in her direction, got up and walked towards her. "Where did you go?", he asked her with a worried look on his face. "I wake up, no you, no note and I couldn't call you either..." He took her phone out of his pocket and gave it back to her. "Here... your phone."
"Thank you", she replied as she put it back in her own pocket.
"Did I do or say anything to upset you?" Rosie noticed people staring. She hated being in the center of attention.
"No, of course not... shall we sit down? People are looking at us...", she replied and they walked to Aidens table. Aiden was shaking his head, as he wasn't satisfied with her answer. "Then what is it?", he asked her.
"Nothing. I was just up early and I fancied a little walk to clear my mind. I didn't want to wake you as you were still sleeping so deeply."
"You could have left me a note, or something", he wasn't amused at all.
"Don't worry so much", Rosie smiled. "You start sounding like me, you know."
"No, I do worry." He started whispering to her. "I am very much enjoying your company, but it feels very unstable. I can't lose you again, just because of a lack of communication."
Rosie laughed. "Aiden, we are just on a date, remember? You won't lose me that quickly. But I have to say; you deserve points. Your worrying is kinda sweet."
Of course she knew that he always seemed to worry about her. Even when they would fight, her well being was more important than the argument.
"Will you please leave me a note next time?", he asked her.
"Alright. I will do", she replied before getting up again to get her breakfast from the buffet. She couldn't stop smiling. He was such a sweetheart.

It was the last day of Halloween. Around four o'clock everyone gathered on the main street for the endshow. More fire and fireworks. Rosie didn't follow the endshow, and wasn't bothered either. She realised she had to go back home to Beek now. She had to face David and tell him that she was officially ending the relationship. It didn't sit right with her. She was playing a dirty game with him and he didn't deserve it.
When everyone had to empty their hotelrooms and head back to the busses, Rosie lost Aiden. She wanted to say goodbye to him, but she couldn't miss her bus either. She stood by the gates and looked around the crowd. She sighed and wanted to take her suitcase to the busses when her phone suddenly rang. "Hey Rosie, where are you?", Aiden asked from the other end.
"By the main gates. I have to go catch my bus", she replied.
"You are going back to Beek right?"
"Don't worry about your bus. I'm also going to Beek. Stay there, I'll pick you up", and so she waited. Not after long she heard beeping from one of the cars trying to get through the crowd. She walked over when she recognised Aiden behind the wheel and he quickly got out to throw his suitcase in the boot. Linda and Thomas were on the back seat and Rosie sat down next to Aiden in the passenger seat.
They were playing the Phantasialand Horror Spectacular soundtrack as they made their way towards the motorway. What a brilliant way to end the weekend. They didn't talk much, as everyone was tired. It had been an intensive few days.

The traffic jam from the park cleared as they finally entered the motorway. Dusk had fallen and Linda and Thomas had fallen asleep. Rosie could have done the same, but it wasn't fair for Aiden, who was driving and probably just as tired. Aiden laughed at the two sleepers on the back seat as he checked on them in the rearview mirror. He then took Rosie's hand and kissed it. "Hey you", he said and Rosie smiled. "Did you enjoy yourself?", he asked her.
"I have, very much so. You?"
They drove for several hours before they finally arrived in Winchester, where they dropped Linda and Thomas off before finishing the last stretch back to Beek. The trip had taken longer than expected, thanks to roadworks. It was practically half past six in the morning when they turned into Rosie's street. Rosie felt the fear again when her apartment block came into view. What was she going to say to David? Aiden parked up in front and looked at her before getting out. "I drove you here", he said, "though I'm not even sure if you want to be here right now. Would you rather I take you to Alfie? Or you can come home with me, if you rather did that..."
"No", she replied. "It's fine. I need to talk to David anyway. He deserves it." Aiden nodded and got out to get her suitcase from the boot. Rosie took it over and gave him a hug. "Thank you", she said.
"For what?"
"For everything."
"You are not saying goodbye to me are you?", he asked, almost worried.
"For now", she replied. "Not forever."
"Okay... Would you like me to call you later?"
"No, I'll call you." She smiled. "I don't know how much time I need."
"Okay, then I'll await your call... you will call right?"
"Of course." She gave him a hug. Aiden helt her tight. She didn't want to let him go. He took a deep breath. "You are very dear to me. Don't forget to get time off for our second date okay?"
"I'll try." They let go, smiled and Rosie made her way to the elevators.
"Rosie!", he yelled after her. "I'll see you soon!"
"Bye Aiden", she waved back to him and entered the building.

She took the elevator up and slowly walked the corridor to her front door. As she walked in, David was already up and sitting in the living room with his laptop. He closed it when she walked in and looked up to her. He had a blank expression on his face. She didn't know where to start. She couldn't even bring herself to walk past the living room door opening. He was waiting on her to start and it was awkwardly silent in the room. She took a deep breath. "I eh...", she started, careful but certain. "I am breaking up with you." David didn't reply. He just stared at her, still with that same, frozen expression. She shook her head. "I know and I'm sorry. I am being very careless and senseless... but I can't help what my heart is telling me. I love you, David. I just love him more... I always have and... I know you live here as well as I do, but it's my apartment and I fear I have to send you back to your parents, or anywhere else you might be able to stay for the time being..."
"Wow", he finally replied. "You are heartless. I can't believe you. It takes you three nights to throw away everything we have buil here. We were getting married, we wanted children. Does it mean nothing to you?"
"Of course it does..."
"Apparently it doesn't. Aiden didn't want you so you just went looking for a placeholder, till the day he would change his mind. I guess I always knew, but never thought he would ever do so. Now he has and you are out the door."
"To be fair", Rosie started defending herself, "if you hadn't confronted me with him there, none of this would have happened. We were only having friendly fun, till you opened the door for him. I know most of the blame is mine, but not all of it."
David shook his head and got up on his feet. Rosie almost felt scared, as she didn't know what was going through his head and he could get very angry on occasions. He got his coat and put his laptop in his bag. "I guess... all has been said", he calmly said and walked over to her. As he passed her on his way to the front door, he stopped next to her. "I wish you well, Rosie", he said. "I'll let you know when I'll be back for my stuff. Just let me know when Aiden's head is out of the clouds and realises how gay he actually is."
"You don't know him...", she replied. David didn't look at her, just walked to the door and pulled it shut behind him. It was done. It wasn't as hard as she had expected, but she started feeling it now. She had broken another heart... someone she cared about deeply, but not enough to give her life to.

The house suddenly felt very empty. She looked at the clock. It was just over seven. Would Aiden be asleep already? She slowly walked over to the sofa and sat down. Was it a good idea to call him now? Maybe she should wait till later that day, but she felt so horrible. It was a selfless act, but she called him anyway.
"Rosie...", she heard as he picked up the phone. "That was sooner than expected. Are you alright?"
"Yes... I think he was already waiting on it. He didn't seem very surprised, just extremely disappointed and very upset with me... but I can't blame him."
"I was asking about you, not him."
"I'm fine. Don't worry", she replied.
"Would you like me to come over? I can do so if you like."
"I'll be fine. I need a moment. Just thought I let you know..."
"Are you sure? It's not a problem..."
"Yes Aiden", she assured him. "Get some sleep. I will do the same. I'll call again later okay?"
"Okay... take care."
"Bye", she ended the conversation and lay down on the sofa. She couldn't sleep now, her mind was to occupied with guilt and confusion. What was happening? Had she literally broken up with David, after three fun days with Aiden? Yes she had. The was moulding over it till the clock turned nine. She was wondering if Alfie had to work today, so she picked up her phone again and called him.
"Heey sweetness, how was Phantasia Horrorland?", he asked as he picked up.
"Do you have time to come over?", she immediately asked back without answering his question. Alfie knew something was up. "Sure, I will be there shortly."
"Thank you."
Ten minutes later, Alfie stood by her front door. He was surprised when he saw her face and gave her a hug straight away. "Oh no", he said. "What happened? Tell me."
"Won't you come in first?", she asked and they walked inside, sitting down on the sofa. Alfie was very interested in her story. Rosie took a deep breath. "I broke up with David...", she explained.
"You did what? When? Why?", she reacted shocked.
"This morning... and ehm..." At that moment the upstairs doorbell rang. Rosie looked surprised and Alfie got up to open the door. ""Aiden?", she could hear him say. "What are you... Why are you... Hi, can I help you?"
"Hey Alfie. It's good to see you again. I'm just checking up on Rosie", she could hear Aiden reply. "Would you mind if I come in?" There was a short silence before Alfie's face appeared in the livingroom. "Ehm, Rosie", he said. "Aiden is asking to come inside... do I let him?"
"Sure", she replied. "Might make explaining everything a bit easier." Alfie clearly had no idea to what was going on and he walked back to the door, to come back with Aiden. They sat down, each on a side of Rosie. The sofa was just big enough for the three of them. "This is cosy", Aiden joked. Alfie didn't find it funny. He still couldn't believe Aiden was here. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?", he asked.
"Okay", Rosie replied and took another deep breath. "Remember a couple of months ago, we talked about me going to Phantasialand and me being worried about Aiden being there?"
"Yes", Alfie replied.
"You were?", Aiden asked.
"Yes...", Rosie explained. "Well, David suddenly stood in the door opening and had listened to most of our conversation, but he never said anything about it. Instead, he followed me to Germany and confronted me as Aiden and I were just talking on our way to the hotel..."
"He was so rude...", Aiden added. "He didn't even give her time to explain anything. He thought she was cheating on him with me, but I swear she wasn't.”
"Yes, well...", Rosie continued, "I did after he left. He didn't break up with me there and then, but I did treated the situation as if he had... Aiden and I had a good time..."
"A brilliant time", Aiden interrupted her again. "It was magical. Unbelievable..."
"Aiden. come on", Rosie replied annoyed. She looked at Alfie who was listening with his mouth open in disbelieve. "Magical...", he slowly found his words. "What the f**k? Rosie, three days without me and look what mess you are getting yourself into. Did you hit your head or something?" Rosie hadn't expected his reaction. She thought he of all people could understand. "Do you think it's that bad?", she asked Alfie. He looked at her and then to Aiden. He probably wanted to say a whole lot of things about it, but felt uncomfortable with Aiden listening. "Well...", he eventually replied. "It's a lot to take in... I mean... after Sun Park and all... everything that happened before you two broke up and... well... I'm not sure what to think to be honest. Are you back together now?"
"No, we are sort of dating...", Rosie replied.
"Dating? Isn't that the same thing?" He shook his head. Aiden tried to convince him that it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. "Alfie, we are having fun together. No strings attached... yet. Anyway, we are just letting it happen, see what comes from it." Alfie lifted his eyebrow. "Uhuh...", he replied to Aiden. "What are you up to?"
"Up to? Nothing." Aiden felt a little offended. Alfie still didn't trust the situation one bit and looked back at Rosie who felt really upset about his reaction. "Alfie...", she tried, but he got up from the sofa. "I eh... Excuse me. I need to think about this... nothing against you Rosie." He turned around and left her flat.

It got quiet. Rosie felt as if she just lost her best friend too. She knew the subject Aiden was sensitive, as Alfie also really liked him and they had cheated on her, the first time her and Aiden were together. It had turned into a major drama and Alfie had been right in the middle of it. Aiden saw her sad expression and put his arms around her. "Don't worry", he said. "Alfie will come around. Just let him be for a moment. I don't think he will give up your relationship over me..."
"How do you know?", she asked him.
"He loves you too much." He smiled and kissed her. "Hello again."
"Are you sure you are okay?"
"No... to much has happened. This morning I came home from Germany and all that happened there. Then I dump my partner over you and now I feel like I'm losing my best friend..." Aiden rubbed her shoulders. "I'm sorry", he apologised. "Maybe I should have listened to you and waited till you invited me over. I realise I'm kinda messing up your life right now. It wasn't my intention..."
"We are both to blame. It's not your fault."
"Maybe not... but still. I'm sorry." They hugged. Rosie realised that it was all worth it. He was here, she wanted nothing else... well, maybe that Alfie would turn around and accept her new situation.

That evening Aiden and Rosie ordered Pizza, watched a film together and when Rosie couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, he brought her to her room and kissed her tonight. He stayed till she was asleep, before leaving. Rosie had been grateful for him staying. It meant she wasn't going to mull over her thoughts and she could have a proper night's rest.

© 2017 Anne Versteeg

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Anne Versteeg

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Added on July 11, 2017
Last Updated on July 11, 2017
Tags: Holding on, Letting go, LGTB, Bi-sexual, Romance, Fiction, Theme Park


Anne Versteeg
Anne Versteeg

Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands

Writing is my way of escaping. It straightens my thoughts, dreams and brainwaves. My common language is Dutch, but I love to write in English. I find it more universal and romantic. My general genres .. more..