Rusting

I don't know, it's a soft thought.

Time has stopped
My hand on your hand
Bound metal rusting in summers rain.
This co-existence unclear
unsure why I feel fear
Because it will eventually stop raining,
or because our end is near?

Reviews

[Gabe]

I feel like I know this situation, so this poem is working. Good imagery. I'm not a big fan of rhyme, clear, fear, near, but that's a matter of taste. Well done.

[glasswindow]

Admittedly the rhyme scheme is novice. lol. I more or less want to do something very very basic here.

[Gabe]

song lyrics?

[glasswindow]

Nah, just trying to get away with some of the complex stuff, I worry that meanings become to unclear and becomes chore to read.