Greenapple Mornings

Just a little thing I wrote

my raft is bobbing along in my gray emptiness and you're
shrieking
at me and your onion breath is
the cold wind and the harsh bite of the
greenapple-mornings.
and my softly bobbing waves are throwing me at
your sharp rocks, peaks.
your vision of my future.
and the sun is shining and i feel like
i'm suffocating
all over again.

Author's Note

Sometimes, I make no sense. This is one of those.

Reviews

[.]

. makes sense to me ... it feels like someone's behaviour is very random ... sometimes loving ... and sometimes hurtful ... and the impact of that is not nice ... it happened to me ... and that's when i would suffocate despite the sun ...

[.]

and the sun is shining and i feel like
i'm suffocating
all over again.

I liked these owrds, I can feel sense of the character here. This has good imagery in it.

[Ethan Paz]

Well you used imagery alright (good job). It would be cool if this made sense.