The Coming of Lillith

something a little different

 

 

the silvery moon softens me
I dance in her waning shadows
a veil removed, unable to follow
Time reveals a phantom queen

I am the crow as I come and go
in the midnight hour I am free
smoldering fires beckon me
silhouettes, black mirrors I know

She offers mocha agate to heal
embracing renewal with energy
she caresses with fingertips, gently
whispering,
                        ‘don’t think, just feel…’

Author's Note

I'm practicing with structure, folks. Tried to look up the form for this piece but couldn't locate it although the rhyme scheme is a-bb-a. Please be gentle as I'm new to this particular form,, and it can be quite tricky. Lillith is the goddess of darkness in addition to being a beautiful flower that thrives only in the dark. Thanks for reading, my friends.

Reviews

[Dani California]

This is fantastic, Tami. Wow. I tend to be drawn in more by structure, in writing, in art, in life...

One of the things I find fascinating about your work is, even in a structured form, it flows effortlessly. I think I've said this before with some of your other structured pieces. It takes a special talent to flow like the sea when there are corners, and then to use a complex subject matter too? You're incredible. I mean that.... wow.

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Mmm, this is a beautiful piece. Wonderfully written with fabulous rhyme and descriptions. Awesome job!!!

Heather

[Sean M. Addams]

i liked this alot a very beautifully write... detail and flow are geat in this.... i like the format of this piece alot... overall a very impressive write... nice job!!!

[Fran Marie]

A most lovely piece to be sure beautifully penned in rich descriptives

not familiar with the form other rhyming quatrains~ very nicely done tho~

in both form and content~great picture to go with also~

[An owl on the moon]

This was remarkably evocative, full of emotional glimpses. So visually stunning as well. The form, and flow, and feel all work together perfectly. Wonderful moving write!

[Diego]

Wonderful poem! You wrote it in such a way that it could be about the Goddess of Darkness or a beautiful Flower. I would like to know the name of the form you used.

[Legion]

You are doing a splendid job. That was well thought out with great imagery. Love the pic you chose as well. Is Lillith with one "l" or two in the middle of the word? Anyway, damn fine write. Loving it and going in favorites.

[Bertie]

Your use of words really helps give the piece sunstance.
I really like it :)

[reca-becca]

i LIKED IT. i THAUGHT YOU DID JUST FINE. :D GOOD JOB DARLING.
LOVE,
RECA-BECCA

[[untitled]]

I thought you did a splendid job with the rhyme scheme. And the subject of your poem, Lillith, is very inspirational. Its easy to see why you chose her!