Undone

Undone

A Poem by TamiViolet
"

This one just came to me out of nowhere, it seems.

"


I still wait for my love story,
But no longer brood in empty
Drawn out light of summer’s
Discontent…

          Will I die without knowing?

          You must be there…
          Somewhere…
          Winter licks my body,
         
Yet my bosom remains warm…

Secrets I cannot hide
If for one moment these
Brown eyes blink…
Frost drips from dark lashes,

And I stand unfinished as life
Kisses death…
Flames transfer to ashes
Scattered upon Lake Erie,

And I am
Finally free….
Wondering…

          Amidst a fragrant blue mist
          Of forget-me-nots…

 



 

© 2012 TamiViolet


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Featured Review

Woh, dude, this was totally awesome!!! Im like shocked right now-It totally blew me away hehe. I love the haunting effect you gave it, and the melancholy tone of lonliness and despair that really made it. It's like a lost soul walking the beaches at night searching for a long lost love or somethin, and u become a ghost in the process--kinda creates this haunting hopeless romantic story that can make anyone who reads it cry. I had a few tears myself hehe. This really hit me a lot. I definitely agree with Coyote, too. Beautiful piece! Fantastic job here! :)

B.A.

Posted 11 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a passionate and kind of sad in a way I like this write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awe Apollonia, you are always such passionate writer. Your words grapple my soul, and draw me in like a magnet to steel. Each word holds me as I listen for each breath, each heartbeat...as you passionately control my soul with your words...hugs...
Oh yes... Amidst a fragrant blue mist Of forget-me-nots…
I was stunned by the verse "if for one moment these brown eyes blink" see, this is where you grab my soul, and pull me in...

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow, this is amazing! And it's so universal, too! So many people can relate to it, including me. "I still wait for my love story/But no longer brood in empty/Drawn out light of summer's/Discontent"... That's my favorite part!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Aw. I love you. :) This poem is great. And Sad. And lonely. I'm lonely too so I know the feeling. :(

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oh this was so so so incredibly written!
you took the words right out of my heart, i love reading poems that express the way i feel at the moment.
i'm tearing as i read this, because its so exact to my current emotions.
beautiful imagery, "And I stand unfinished as life
Kisses death…
Flames transfer to ashes
Scattered upon Lake Erie,"
wow, just wow!
mindblowing the way you've put this feeling into a poem that i could never write myself.
you've inspired me, i think i'll write now :)

thanks SO much for sharing!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

That's some love story. I think the best poetry comes from out of nowhere! Love the imagery, well done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm…"

brilliant work leaves a man's heart swimming, drowing, intoxicated. i love the way you paint the senses with delicate abstracts, you are a master of your own style.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

wow thats a great poem. its amazing actually! thanks for posting it!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very powerful write..... the haunting effect in this piece is very soul searching..

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

oh, my . . . I felt myself in your place, powerful words

amazing words

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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4925 Views
54 Reviews
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Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on December 3, 2009
Last Updated on May 14, 2012

Author

TamiViolet
TamiViolet

Somewhere behind the evening sky..., PA



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A Poem by TamiViolet



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