Undone

This one just came to me out of nowhere, it seems.

I still wait for my love story,
But no longer brood in empty
Drawn out light of summer’s
Discontent…

          Will I die without knowing?

          You must be there…
          Somewhere…
          Winter licks my body,
          Yet my bosom remains warm…

Secrets I cannot hide
If for one moment these
Brown eyes blink…
Frost drips from dark lashes,

And I stand unfinished as life
Kisses death…
Flames transfer to ashes
Scattered upon Lake Erie,

And I am
Finally free….
Wondering…

          Amidst a fragrant blue mist
          Of forget-me-nots…

 

 

Reviews

[These Haunted Hallways]

Woh, dude, this was totally awesome!!! Im like shocked right now-It totally blew me away hehe. I love the haunting effect you gave it, and the melancholy tone of lonliness and despair that really made it. It's like a lost soul walking the beaches at night searching for a long lost love or somethin, and u become a ghost in the process--kinda creates this haunting hopeless romantic story that can make anyone who reads it cry. I had a few tears myself hehe. This really hit me a lot. I definitely agree with Coyote, too. Beautiful piece! Fantastic job here! :)

B.A.

[Ladysue]

This is truly beautiful. The imagery was amazing. Very moving...stunning

[Sorry Infamous]

You must be there�
Somewhere�
Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm�
I loved this.... thought it was amazing to read. It made me sad and full of yearning. It was just so beautiful.

[Pax Analog]

Hauntingly beautiful.

My feeling vis-a-vis the pinnacle of romance is that you get it by giving it up.

There is a single hi-wire over the abyss of mystery and mortality -- and you are a Libra aren't you? The purrrfect balance of senses, feelings, intuition, reason is required to know Love as the essence of divine Intelligence, to know Desire as the anagrams uncannily reveal: reside, i.d. seer, id seer. Self-sustaining flame to be shared.

Your poem reveals a nonpareil elegant, beautiful, poignant soul. Your soulmate already resides in your heart and will greet your eyes in a season of grace.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

truly an amazing piece of writing Apollonia...

[SM Davis]

It seems that freedom always comes when we stop looking for it. No matter what the matter we want to be free from. This is beautiful. Just beautiful.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Wow! You literally blew me away with this one. The writing is so totally flawless and the flow seems here so effortlessly. I absolutely loved it.
" You must be there�
Somewhere�
Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm�" - I loved these lines the most and the day you came up with the metaphor of winter and bosom is also very appealing.
Great work, as always :)

[Dani California]

Ahhhh.... you never disappoint dear one. I needed this "A" fix today :):)

Wondering... what could have been. Upon freedom from this physical life where we seem cursed to suffer in one form or another ... particularly when it comes to love. Is there any other form of suffering, really? It seems that REAL love is written in Greek because I have met very few who truly understand what it means.

Beautifully expressed, as always. You are quite talented lovely lady. Better yet, you are connected -- and you understand exactly what I mean by that -- which is what makes you very special.

Beautiful ....

[Sean M. Addams]

this was a very cool write .... imagery was done well in this....like the whole feel of this write... overall i thought this was an amazing piece... nice job... fav lines..You must be there�
Somewhere�
Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm�....very nice!!

[Su' Nacnetaf]

Poignant, simply beautiful, I loved the way this poem flows and and how the main character is scattered upon Lake Erie once turned to ashes, very romantic (referring to the old and real meaning of "romantic"). Great writing.

[Fran Marie]

You must be there�
Somewhere�
Winter licks my body,
Yet my bosom remains warm

A most captivating write from first to last lines

beautiful poetic expression in this elegant poem

very well crafted indeed!