Demons Decoded

Seeking answers to this dark angel's demons..

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life. You can spend your life wallowing in despair, wondering why you were the one who was led towards the road strewn with pain, or you can be grateful that you are strong enough to survive it.”  
J.D. Stroube

The truth wants to be set free
crying out for you to know
numb… bitter.. from… arctic cold

prisoner ‘neath fallen snow.

I used to shimmer bright
life… illuminated.. me
now just struggle everyday
festering.. in .. vacancy.

How did I end up stuck here?
back to this scared, little girl
forsaken...or… abandoned
trapped in my own frozen world.

I used to be… so fearless
bullheaded, brazen and bold
a force to be reckoned with
truly…. a sight… to behold.

How did I end up dumped here?
with a shattered, broken heart
rattling….. ragged….. pieces
'twas savagely ripped apart.

I used to be so carefree
bubbly, spirited, and kind
now plagued with demonic fear
running rampant through my mind.

Now that I am really here
must break catastrophic chains
patching….. together….. pieces
fixing fragmented remains.

I will learn to love myself
stop trying to run and hide
letting other people see….
the real beauty that’s inside.

 

Author's Note

Reviews

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

Beautiful poem, April. It's true you know, you can't love someone if you don't love yourself. On a certain point in our life, we all ask this question: how did I end up here? Contemplating at that moment about the way we have travelled may show us where we have failed or what we have to do better or in another way. Reading your poem, brought my thoughts to all this. Very well done. :) Rudi

[AprilRN1210]

What an insightful review!. I couldn't agree more and you summed it up perfectly.. Thank you so much, I appreciate your time, thought, and kindness. It is nice to see you:)

[Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere]

My pleasure, April. :) Rudi

[dan]

April, A very nicely rhymed piece. I especially liked how you broke lines up into 3 by using ellipses. Very effective, drawing extra scrutiny to the words deemed important to the write's message. I like your style. I'll be back, and that not a threat. 8^) take care...dan

[AprilRN1210]

Hiya Dan, I am tickled you enjoyed and appreciated the construction of this one.. Thank you so much.. I appreciate it... I look forward to reading more of yours as well.. :)

[ANM]

Sometimes we have to look inwards and find the truth within ourselves. Without that truth we are nothing! Lovely poem , very well written.

[AprilRN1210]

oh my goodness, how did I miss this review?.. I'm so sorry.. jeez.. Thank you.. I couldn't agree more with this thoughtful, insightful review..

[ANM]

Not a worry you got it now ! How are you ?

[Damien Thibodeaux]

Recognizing your demons, remembering who you were and breaking free from the devils that hold you down. This piece is emotional and inspirational. It flows so well when read out loud too. I like your style.

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much... It was pretty therapeutic for me... I am glad that it touched you.. I appreciate your time and thoughts:)

[Damien Thibodeaux]

You're welcome.

[Mister_Sir]

This poem is essentially what goes through my mind everyday, so that's definitely one of the reasons why I find this poem so attractive. Furthermore, I have a nature fascination with darkness and tragedy, so that was another lure for me. I enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the natural flow of the rhythm. You possess excellent skill in these regards. My favorite parts of the poem are

"How did I end up stuck here?
back to this scared, little girl
forsaken...or… abandoned
trapped in my own frozen world."

"How did I end up dumped here?
with a shattered, broken heart
rattling….. ragged….. pieces
'twas savagely ripped apart."

These stanzas provided the most imagery to me, and they also seemed to be the most passionate.

I have no suggestions for revisions content-wise, but I do have a few technical ones:

"The truth wants to be set free,
Crying out for you to know.
Numb… bitter.. from… arctic cold,
Prisoner ‘neath fallen snow.

I used to shimmer bright.
Life… illuminated.. me.
Now just struggle everyday,
Festering.. in .. vacancy.

How did I end up stuck here?
Back to this scared, little girl.
Forsaken...or… abandoned.
Trapped in my own frozen world.

I used to be… so fearless,
Bullheaded, brazen and bold,
A force to be reckoned with,
Truly…. a sight… to behold.

How did I end up dumped here
With a shattered, broken heart.
Rattling….. ragged….. pieces.
'Twas savagely ripped apart.

I used to be so carefree,
Bubbly, spirited, and kind.
Now plagued with demonic fear,
Running rampant through my mind.

Now that I am really here,
Must break catastrophic chains,
Patching….. together….. pieces,
Fixing fragmented remains.

I will learn to love myself,
Stop trying to run and hide,
Letting other people see….
The real beauty that’s inside."

That's pretty much it. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work soon.

Neurotically yours,
Mister Splitbrain

[AprilRN1210]

I think we all have our own demons that plague us, this one was such a deeper, intimate look at some of mine and how I can overcome them.. how I got where I am.. figuring out where exactly is here, and how to fix it.. or at least work on it.. I appreciate the time and thought you put into your reviews and suggestions, and promise to look over them and edit accordingly.. I sometimes find it so hard to mess with more emotional, personal pieces such as this one, but am always willing to look and think it over.. thank you so much and am glad that it touched you!..

[micky]

This is my new favorite piece April it really hit close to home I am a chubby a kinda butch girl so my self esteem is like non-existent but this really brightened my day actually brought a smile to me. Thank you so much April you're such an inspiration (hugs) :}

[AprilRN1210]

Oh Micky, I am so glad this could brighten your day.. You are such a beautiful spirit and am tickled I could touch and inspire.. I too suffer from self-esteem issues so I know how it can weigh us down and darken things.. I just want to let you know how AWESOME I think you are!... and know you can talk to me anytime you need.. ((big hugs)) back to you!.. thank you

[micky]

Hey April it's so nice to hear from you I have been working 15-18 hours a day now so I almost never have time. I hope things are well with you and I hope keep up the amazing writing :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

April, this is brilliant. Great metaphors, and I love all things angelic! Great write!

[AprilRN1210]

Thank you so much girl!.. I am a sucker for angels as well.. my grandpa used to call me his dark haired angel.. I am glad you enjoyed this one.. it was quite an emotional release.. :)

[Bright Ocean Star]

Very nicely written.. I truly enjoyed this. I didn't realize you wrote one on fallen angels when I wrote mine. I much prefer your version, though. I like how you used the first person perspective. It was very powerful, emotive, and personal. Absolutely loved it. I'm saving it in my favorites file. Hugs back to you!

[AprilRN1210]

this one was written back in July.. just played with graphic and moved to front page to switch it up.. and thank you again.. wow.. favorites.. wahooo!.. such an honor.. *happy dancing* over here... :D

[Confuser]

Well, April, this is beautiful. Your voice was honest, it flowed. I just simply loved it - The beginning, so important, and you hit it ....The truth wants to be set free....
(I believe there is peace in truth; no matter what it is)
Now that I am really here
Must break catastrophic chains
patching together pieces
fixing fragmented remains.
I love it! How beautiful.....

[AprilRN1210]

thank you so much for this awesome review. I am always nervous sharing my emotional pieces. I am glad you enjoyed.. I appreciate it.. shall be by your page soon to check out more of yours.. ((hugs)) to you..

[Confuser]

I just submitted something called Mad Men; really silly; but not could get serious with it - about my past life w/my x-husband. Thank you for the read again. Thanks for the hugs - I told you my name, facebook etc. for a few reasons, but since you work at a hospital, that's enough. Some folks are well, just crazy. HA!!! I thoroughly loved it. Great writing.

[AprilRN1210]

will definitely check it out!.. and agree.. plenty are just that.. thank you again:)

[Confuser]

I wrote the one about Thanksgiving that is SILLY and meant to be jovial. Bye.

[Confuser]

........................................Have a great evening.

[Lydia Shutter]

Sometimes life gangs up on a person! Self esteem is left shattered in pieces like a broken glass. We ask ourselves how this could have happened and why....why when we were following all the rules. The only thing to do is start over and move on....because dwelling in that place where the shattered heart rules is a dangerous thing. Your words are heartfelt, honest, and well written, April. Lydi**

[AprilRN1210]

I couldn't agree with you more... thank you so much for this insightful, thoughtful, kind review.. as always such a pleasure to see you and hear your thoughts on my work.. I honestly appreciate it..

[Lydia Shutter]

I want you to know it is my pleasure to read your work. Lydi*

[AprilRN1210]

you have just made my day, and doubt anything can erase this smile from my face.. thank you so much.. :)

[Ryan Henderson]

Very good eh... Poem. Although I would call it a story, with a likeable poetic twist. The music enhanced my emotions that I felt while reading this, although at first I thought to myself "Where's that damned ad?" Lol very nice work ;)

[AprilRN1210]

a story with a poetic twist.. hmmmm.. never thought of it that way.. I guess, in a way... haha.. yea.. stinking ads.. I am glad you enjoyed..my...eh....work :)
thank you.