Sleepless

I hate when I lay in bed and my mind is racing and can’t stop on a subject. I hate it because I don’t lie to myself very well. I know it could settle. I just don’t want the subject matter it’s going to pick.

I play it’s twisted little game and take the “do-over” all night. I’d like to spin the wheel again, please. Come on! No Whammies! Big Money! Big Money! Never happens. It lands on the same thing every time.

Somewhere between smoking weed on the porch at midnight and having cookies at the counter and milk from the jug, I realize my brain is not the culprit in my misery. With me, she is a strong, powerful, complex organ. Her only draw back is that she relies on my thick skull to keep her safe. I’ve had her cooped up for far too long. She’s angry. She’s banging on my temples at all hours screaming, “Let me out! I have something to say. It’s my turn!” She’s clawing at my eyes and crying big, fat, salty tears pleading to let her words be heard. She wants out so bad. I force feed her tequila, red wine or vicodin to keep her quiet.

I’m not scared of what she has to say. I’m protecting her. That’s my job isn’t it? What if she says something that people don’t like and they hurt her?

She assures me that people will think her ideas are amazing. She says that I can have all the credit. People will think I am the talented one. She only wants to be heard. I hate it when she begs. I’m always so close to giving in before my heart talks some sense into me.

“Don’t listen to her! Listen to me. Follow me. I’ll lead the way. Your brain is deceptive. She is manipulative and selfish. Me, your heart, I think of everyone you love and would never send you down the wrong path. She’s nothing without either of us and she knows it.”

Somewhere about 2am, I decide to go to sleep and let them fight it out alone. I know the morning will bring compromise. One will decide to write and the other will decide to share with everyone. I will take the credit.

Reviews

[April Vickery]

Thank you.

[Tommy]

I like this piece, I often find myself in a manic state; my mind compromising with my heart, while I long for sleep. I love this line, " I realize my brain is not the culprit in my misery. With me, she is a strong, powerful, complex organ. Her only [drawback] is that she relies on my thick skull to keep her safe." Great work!
RLG,
Tommy