Dear Romeo

Dear Romeo

A Poem by Arctic Fox
"

What I am facing.

"

Romeo, Romeo I know how you felt.

I hold the same hand that to you life dealt.

 

I knew we were like you two.

I don’t know if it will end too.

 

No it is over, we still have time.

The clock has not yet reached the last chime.

 

I will wait in out my time in this exile.

I’ll let her take her time with her trial.

 

Tell me how to cope if things end bad.

What will happen if another takes what I had?

 

I’ll pray to God that things come together.

If it doesn't it will be good bye to you all , forever.

© 2010 Arctic Fox


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I love the Romeo&Juliet reference! Putting yourself in Romeo's shoes and asking for advice reveals that you have something going on in your life (that I don't know about), but this poem really opens up how you're feeling, and I believe that emotion. However, in the second stanza, you refer to the bad ending and how it happened, but you contradict yourself in the following paragraph by saying it hasn't happened yet. Maybe change the lines to "I see we are on the same path, too/But it hasn't happened yet, we still have time" or something like that. Again, great poem, the emotion is really strong and I believe you. Good job :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Even though I'm not that big of a fan of Romeo and Juliet (long story), I liked this. Your word choice, symbolism, and other such features really help to sell the story and make people understand what you probably want them to see behind this. It's really good.

Posted 11 Years Ago


meh, you focused too much on the rhyme and not rythm. you need both

otherwise i like it. lots of emotion

Posted 11 Years Ago


all i can say...all of these commenters that i read really liked the romeo/juliet reference but they didnt understand the substance.

Posted 11 Years Ago


I liked the Romeo and Juliet reference too. I love this poem. It is so cute. I really love this. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


i loved it. so romantic

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Mel
The rhythm is choppy, not sure if you are going for rhyme or if your trying to free verse it. I am not a poet expert, but just reading it I think you have a love like that of Romeo and Juliet, am I right? It doesn't exactly tell me how you feel, though. You have the idea I would just recommend that you dig deep in your emotion and vocalize how this situation truly makes you feel...are you angry, sad, happy?

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I love the emotion behind this and the romeo and juliet reference. Nice play on words and nicely portrayed. Good Job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


aww.. its so sweet!..love it

Posted 11 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the poem in general, the only thing is I find it very hard to read because there's almost no rhythm. Everything else is good though!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I found the flow also a little off in the second verse but it did not take away for me the meaning and feelings from this ... I enjoyed your poem and since you say ' what i am facing' i wish you well!
Nicely done .. always have loved the story of the star crossed lovers, Romeo and Juliet.

Chloe

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1072 Views
22 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 30, 2010
Last Updated on July 7, 2010
Tags: Romeo, life, death, love, lose, take, a, break, taking

Author

Arctic Fox
Arctic Fox

LA



About
I am the youngest of three. I was born in 1991. I love to read, write, and help others. Want to know more, just ask. I will answer any question no matter what it is with a 100% honest answer. more..

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