A Thousand Demons and a Monster

A Thousand Demons and a Monster

A Poem by The Last Poetic King


Sometimes I sit and think to myself "why and the hell? "
Maybe I whine and complain too much, all the f*****g time.
Some days I do nothing but stay locked inside my room,
Thinking about all the times I was at fault,
And it hurts to know that it was my fault ninety percent of the time

Sometimes I just wish that I would've drowned,
That I wouldn't have awoken, that I wouldn't have met you at all
I think back to all these memories that I have
And I replay the scenarios like a broken record,
Trying to get the memories out of my head

And it isn't anything new, you've always known
That I'm the one who has always hated
Himself the most, who has always regretted every action, every word he spoke

People seem to have this common misconception that I'm wonderful
And if they only knew exactly who I was they wouldn't think that at all
They'd embrace the hatred that I so willing accept

And I'm hopping that one day they see it my way,
See me for the monster that I know I have become
The lies, the lies, the lies spun from this devilish tongue
And all the words said out loud, I know you dread the words when I have said
That I wish I was dead, I'd be better off, I'd be happier then

But if I ever let these words leave my mouth, people start to panic
They think I've got this all wrong, that I am mislead
They try to fill my head with lies on why I should survive
But do you know what it's like to hurt all the f*****g time?

I don't think you do.. I don't think you know me at all
Because at the end of the day, I should know myself better than anyone
And truthfully, I don't know myself at all

I sit and think about it all,
I think about you, her, and them,
Sometimes I feel like I'm going to fall apart,
Break down to my very core, unable to move,
Unable to feel, unable to care at all

And you've gone and moved on,
And I stay in the same place trying to hold onto something that no longer exists
Does it matter at all? Do I matter at all?

These thoughts always drag me down, I always seem to fall
I walk on broken glass just trying to erase the past,
But you still look into my eyes and haunt my dreams from time to time

I'm just a guy who's in between being a boy and being a man
And I swear I could drowned from all these broken rhymes
A waste of time, it's getting me nowhere, it's only slightly a release
From the demon that haunts me while I'm stuck behind these four walls
That crawls inside my head and darkens my heart

Well f**k, I should've f*****g drowned,
There should've been lead in that black
I should've made a mistake, a mistake I could not reverse
They should've put me below with the worms
Painted my face up like a clown,
So that when they looked over me, they would know
I lived my life behind a painted face and hid my tears behind a phony smile

And people will always constantly be in denial, I bet you never knew
I bet it never crossed your mind, that i'm just hoping that something ends it all, so I don't have to
Because I don't want to hurt you at all, anymore

© 2015 The Last Poetic King

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Added on July 2, 2015
Last Updated on July 2, 2015


The Last Poetic King
The Last Poetic King

there, Unknown

For a moment, I am here. Then you blink & I am gone But you will never forget what it was like to know me Because I am like no other I don't shine as bright as the other stars, but there is no m.. more..