Deliverer

An old poem, one of my first in English; still ed. 2010, that of August + September

Deliverer

 

"Touch me, fill me, empty me,

be my demonic priest"

 

take a few steps towards me

and you will reach the empty silent void

the godlike matter the form of true life

the greasy slimy snail of time

 

dark blossoms with sharp

convoluted edges and rigid blue

leaves shelter us from sunlight

here we face our true mission

we hold hands and cry together

in fiery wind and dusty

faces of people walking by

 

these walls aren’t gentle and warm

creeping  into our souls to preach their

dark deities they consume and swallow

our empathy and clearance of mind

 

be with me demonic priest

guardian of doom and candlelight

take us both into your cave hands and may we be

saved from this homogeneousness we call

morning evening sun and moon

 

streets are kinder savage forests

endless fields and plains of green breath

welcome us

a warm smile as we fall asleep

touching deeper deeper deep

© Artūrs Lūsis
04.05.2009., Thursday, evening (ed. of 09.2010)

Reviews

[Miss Coral]

Loved the tone of this piece, and the emotion of the imagery. Great write... loved the phrasing as well. I think that perhaps towards the beginning (not the smaller font, but after that), parts of it could be a bit smooth, but otherwise, I think this was great.
Wonderfully penned.

-Coral-

[Artūrs Lūsis]

Odd, but I cannot get the smaller font out - I'll try, for it shouldn't be there in that way.

[Crow]

I loved the feeling, truly inspiring for me to reach into the dank corners of my psyche.

[Artūrs Lūsis]

It is fair to say, though, this poem is an early one of mine, also quite improvised, although it's now in its third edition, in which I've open up a view locked parts that may have even shamed me before, but not anymore. The first two lines of it were buried away, actually, that is a major change for this piece.

[Amit Parmessur]

Liked it perfectly.

We should not go too far as

"Touch me, fill me, empty me,
be my demonic priest"

are already so nice as words to start an impressive work.