A Chapter by Victor Cartel

MUSIC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxP66_oG9Eg

"I'm fine."

Let me crumble under these words into the asphalt walls I've created between you and me, the sidewalk I allow you to walk upon but never see the truth underneath because if I revealed that I'd fall apart.

"I'm okay."

Allow me to fall a little closer to my own demise unto thine heart for thou shalt not let sleeping dogs lie, and rather inquire that which doesn't make anything better...

"How are you?"

This question.  This question.  I lack the capability of understanding the casualty in this inquiry; how can you ask this so simply?

"Are you hurt?"

Do you wish for my honesty, the actuality of my consistent pain, the pain of life, the emotional lightning that strikes me from all angles through the cracks in my asphalt heart; or are you like all of them - people - who seek not to tear down my walls and bring me out of this comatose state of hopelessness, but just if my shell of a body is able to keep existing.

"Everything will be ok."

How do you know that?  How can thy words speak truths into mine ears without first understanding the carnage that is my emotional state, but everything will somehow be ok in the end because why?  Because we all die.

"Don't be like that."

Be like what?  Unhappy? I fake a smile every day.  Negative?  Death is nothing more than the truth, a fact - negative is your perception.  Angry?  Why wouldn't I be angry at myself for this, the world for not noticing?

"I love you."

Then prove it.

"How are you?"

I'm fine.  Just allow me to wallow in this lie; I'm fine, I'm fine, if I lie enough then I will be tough enough to find the truth in my miserable lie - I'm fine... I'm fine.

"How are you really?"

...nobody has ever bothered to ask.

"I'm fine."

© 2013 Victor Cartel

Author's Note

Victor Cartel
Music and picture not mine.

Join NaPoRiMo: http://www.naporimo.net/

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Added on April 3, 2013
Last Updated on April 3, 2013
Tags: NaPoRiMo


Victor Cartel
Victor Cartel

Westminster, CO

Check the about me page on my website, Ashira's Notebook, for an extensive survey about myself. more..

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