A Chapter by Victor Cartel

A memoir I wrote for Creative Writing. I have changed many of the names for personal reasons. Best read after my other memoir "Learning the Hard Way"


Note: This memoir is best read after my other memoir, "Learning the Hard Way"

                I love Emmah.  Always have, always will.  She’s so cute and sweet and fun, and we always seem to have the best of times together when we hang out.  Most of all, though, she gives fantastic advice.

                Emmah used to have love-life issues with her now boyfriend, Xen [a.k.a. my big brother :3], so naturally when I was having love-life issues, I went to her.

                Before I’d gone to her, I’d talked to Ses, V, and even Raa - the source of my problems - for help and advice.  They were all of little help, or I suppose just not enough for me.  I was still depressed and undecided about a lot of things, and I was hoping Emmah was actually going to be of help me.

                When I called Emmah (and we finally got on a subject un-related to whatever she was watching on TV…) I asked her, “Should I continue to pursue Raa or should I go back to Dre and hope to God he takes me back?”

                She told me some very helpful things that only she could see and help me with when I was blinded by confusion and sadness.  She said, “Well, what I think is that you always loved Dre and that you were too blinded by your infatuation with Raa to see that.” That comment rang true.  After being said so plainly like that, how could I possibly deny it?  She went on, “Though you and Raa will always have that feeling of infatuation with each other, you know Dre is the only one for you because you were happy with him, and he helps you better.  I dunno how you felt, but it seemed like when you got with Raa you got a lot sadder.” I didn’t know that’s how it seemed, but I could easily see where she thought that, which hurt quite a bit to realize.  I’d always thought Raa and I seemed so perfect.  To hear otherwise was almost like telling me I’d chosen the wrong life path.  It had to be said, however, or I’d have never realized.  Actually, I’d probably have lived in my fantasy world forever.  “And after what Raa did to you, he’s lost a lot of my respect.” She admitted.  Again, no surprise.  I hardly ever cry, let alone in public " it’s a sign of weakness, of defeat.  Yet the moment I got to school I just cried in the bathroom all first hour, and then second hour Xen ended up calling Raa to see where he’d run to…I already knew: he got out of school that day just to go see his ex, to try and get her back because he just couldn’t live without her apparently.  When a very similar story happened between Emmah and Xen, I lost a lot of his respect too [which he’s gained back over time, but that’s not the point].  I understood what she was thinking, and was glad to hear that she cared as much for my well-being as I did hers.  I let her continue, these thoughts going through my mind and a slight smile playing upon my face as I wiped away a few tears.   “I used to go to him for help with a lot of my problems, but after he hurt you like that I decided it was better to go to my other friends instead.” Sadly I agreed.  He had helped me with a lot of issues I’d gone to no one else about in the past, and then broke my trust in a flash.  It’s why I was talking with Ses again.  It’s why V and Emmah were becoming more and more prominent in my life again.  I was sad about losing Raa, but at the same time I was grateful for being brought closer to my old friends.  “So I may be bias, but I think you and Dre were really sweet and happy together, so I say go for it!” I could just hear the smile in Emmah’s voice, and it made me giggle.

                Even though now I’m struggling again with what love truly is, and I now doubt what I once believed, that was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.  I am truly thankful to have Emmah as a friend, a sister to me in my chosen family, and I’m forever grateful to her for helping me get through these tough times.  I wish I could have been better to her in the past, that this would merely be returning the favor, but on the other hand I suppose it doesn’t matter because it only proves the strength of our friendship.

Emmah…sukiyo <3

© 2012 Victor Cartel

Author's Note

Victor Cartel
Should I write a book filled with memoirs? I'm considering the idea but I dunno if anyone would be interested. Lemme know what you think of the idea

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Added on February 27, 2011
Last Updated on May 31, 2012


Victor Cartel
Victor Cartel

Westminster, CO

Check the about me page on my website, Ashira's Notebook, for an extensive survey about myself. more..

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