Bleeding Poetry

Because blood isn't enough.

It’s nights like this -

All silent and serene,

That my mind shrieks

As I bleed rivers of poetry.

 

Words rip at my wrists

From the inside, outward

Like jagged pieces of a broken mirror,

Shattered by my tortured soprano.

 

Rhymes burn through me,

Acid flowing through my veins

As rhythmic tears stream down

Agony scorched cheeks.

 

Prose propels needle

After toxin tipped needle

Through each and every nerve,

Jolting twinge to each transition.

 

Then… the punctuation clots

With a sudden burst of sympathy,

And as the pain ebbs away

I can relish in numb rapture.

Author's Note

Because this is what happens when I pull an all nighter and am left alone with my thoughts.

Reviews

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

Thank you for being so honest with us as readers about what it means to you to be a poet. Thank you for capturing the true essence of what writing is to you and just how important it is to you and all who come across your words. I think this is a beautiful piece and it leaves an impact quite unlike any other. The word choice is absolutely stunning and the way your voice shines through every word is absolutely stunning. The flow is spot on and the style (as simple as it was) definitely kept the piece in tact. Great job.

phenomenally penned.

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you so much for your kind words, I am so glad you came across this one. Writing is truly one of the best outlets I have ever had, and I felt that I had to illustrate this. =)

[Igarin]

I can see your pain for the sake and need of creativity, wow, leaves no room for speculation or question as to your true calling and unquestionable talent...

[Ashira Macy]

Aw, thank you so much Igarin, I appreciate it!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like your description in the poem.
"Rhymes burn through me,
Acid flowing through my veins
As rhythmic tears stream down
Agony scorched cheeks."
Above lines are true. When word take your thoughts. We must release them. I like the energy of the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you my friend, I am glad you were able to relate.

[Coyote Poetry]

I must read and write. Keep me sane.

[Saddam]

All silent and serene,
That my mind shrieks
As I bleed rivers of poetry.

Cool....

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you dear.

[Christopher Robin]

Oh Ashira...

Do I critique the poetry or the mind behind it. You seem to treat yourself and your mind as two separate things, tearing at each other, and yet look what they come together to create. The poem answers its own paradox which makes it lose a little of its charm. This is only slightly different to the millions upon millions of 'woe is me I'm a such a tortured poet that I wrote a poem' types of work out there. It teases at rhyme but gives none. It is presented (font) as blood-dipped quill stroke which I find a little over dramatic (no matter how relevant) considering some of the imagery used.
The symbolism, simile and metaphor are top notch, but this fails to deliver purpose, which is a shame because there feels as though there was purpose to writing it other than simply complaining, but I'm not sure it translates to the reader.
A definite swing....

-Robin

[Ashira Macy]

Hey Robin,

While I usually do ask for assistance and constructive criticism on my work, I am actually 100% satisfied with this one. It is not a "woe is me" poem as you interpreted. I am an emotional writer more than a technical one, and this one bled out of me right after a particularly emotional one. This was an illustration of how emotions feel when they are bottled up, and how it feels so much better after they have been put on paper. Yours is the only negative interpretation I have received on this one, and while I appreciate your honesty, in this case (since it is purely emotion) to quote you: "If you're going to mistreat it, beat it." ;-)

[Christopher Robin]

I do not relish arguing art as it is all so subjective. Perhaps I should rephrase this, you would agree pain is generally conceived to be a 'negative feeling or emotion' yes? And you can't deny that 3 out of the 4 stanzas in your poem refer to pain in one sense or another. When you say that this is 'an illustration of how emotions feel when they are bottled up' and that emotion is pain - to me, that is the very definition of a 'woe is me' poem. If you doubt this look to your 'positive' reviewers who 'shared your pain' and understood the struggles involved in 'expressing an emotion'. If i found poetry about the author's experience of negative emotions so hard to bear, I wouldn't last on this site very long. As I stated in my original review, my main gripe was the lack of purpose. You describe in this poem the writing process as incredibly tough but ultimately rewarding. Why is it tough? What causes this pain? How does the pain help the process? Where is an example of the reward? Your piece addresses these questions but does not answer them, this is where I find the lack of purpose. I'm not saying there's something 'wrong' with your poem, it's simply my opinion on how such emotive and weighted writing could be improved with true clarity and meaning.
Haha, and as for quoting me (thank you by the way), I would never mistreat something (which was not my intention here) without beating it. So feel free to read my piece 'Stop'. ;)

-Robin

[Eve Ola]

oh my.. your words add more intensity to this write. Well done.
Btw i am loving your writing style, which one you used?

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Eve. I use a bunch of different writing styles, but if you are talking about the font it is called Viner Hand ITC.

[John Ryan]

horrific beauty
self destruction for the sake of art

wonderful my dear wonderful

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks John!

[Wandering Minstrel]

very beautifully done! This is so lovely. Gives the reader many wonderful images. Flows like a breeze. Bravo!

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Minstrel, glad you liked it.

[Dean]

The bleeding is becoming---but I suspect the pain might not ever be intolerable--certainly an unusual and very intriguing approach to creation! :-)

[Ashira Macy]

Thank you Dean, it is how I feel at times.

[Briana O'Connor]

Excuse my urban lingo, but this is FRICKEN AWESOME...I usually try and be proper in my reviews, but I just couldn't resist :P I just loved the way you expressed the emotion that rips through a poet as words pour from our soul to the pen(keys,pencil whatever) to the paper. The emotion just ripped right through me. This was genious! Great read!

[Ashira Macy]

Haha, no worries, it is good to use urban lingo every now and then, and I am touched that you enjoyed it so much.

[hardeep sabharwal]

only one word I want to say, fantastic :)

[Ashira Macy]

Thanks so much Hardeep.