Vince

This is just a really simple poem I wrote a long time ago. More than 2 years to be exact...

 

~Vince~

 

We may be miles apart,

but you still managed to capture my heart.

You were unsure at first,

thought our relationstip was for the worst.

We broke up for a while,

then you came back to me; an aching heart and a fake smile.

I figured this plan would fail,

and I wasn't about to be put back through that hell.

Even though I was hurt by the things you did before,

I wasn't going to push you away anymore.

I once said 'I love you' in the past,

maybe I was just pressuring you to make things last.

I know I screwed up once or twice before,

but I will always try to give you more.

Sometimes I think this is insane,

because love has put us both through so much pain.

I know we're not as close as we'd like,

but if we want to make it through this, we'll have to put up a fight.

 

Reviews

[Collette]

The classic struggle of love...I dig it. As mentioned below me, you have an excellent use of rhyming going on within this piece. It really helps to carry the emotion through to the reader. For me, those last two lines were like a grand slam winning the game:


I know we're not as close as we'd like,

but if we want to make it through this, we'll have to put up a fight.

Truer words were never penned. Great job!

[Blindmikey]

This is a great poem. The rhyme works itself well too I might add.

"I know I screwed up once or twice before,
but I will always try to give you more."

I liked these passages quite a lot. The admittance and the hope in humility. Knowing that it won't be easy, that it will take work... but knowing that it would be worth it, at least to try. You've penned many mistakes in here that I've lived through, making it quite a connecting piece in its honesty.

Wonderfully penned.