Just Keep Walking.

The unleashing of my thoughts.

Author's Note

I write a lot of these. Snip-its of my thoughts, parts of short stories. Little pieces that I hope one day will all weave together. Thoughts?

Reviews

[Isaiah Gomez]

I think you have a knack for writing, your word usage was well configured; however, there were a few daunting things that stood out to me. One. I get that this is a proverbial thought process from the first person, i.e. 'your perspective', but you switched in the middle. You went from telling us 'the reader' what you were doing and thinking, to where it read as if you were giving direction to the reader rather than your character (you). Second. I would try and tighten this up a little so it reads more fluently.

I tired to copy this to a word document so I could give you an example of what I mean, but it won't let me, so . . .I'm just going to point out a few things instead.

Try and make you're sentences less clustered and crisp.

Put your thought process into either italics or quotations.

And try to omit needless words

I think you have the talent, just need to work on the mechanics. I hope this helps. If you have any questions of comment feel free to contact me.

God Bless:

Isaiah Gomez.

[Sujash I. Purna]

brilliant! you are a talented writer!

[CagedBIRDsings]

I loved the story. I think you can definately weave this into something much more, still I think you could polish it up a bit so that it can shine even brighter. Just an idea (you don't have to carry it out if you don't want to) but perhaps you can include some dialogue or even a few flashbacks. Good Luck and Good work. The idea is really good ♥

[Raymond]

No lack of chill in Waterloo...been there...wont go back LOL. It's a good voice Karina. If there were another paragraph I would read to see where "she" walks to....and now the critque...there is a small "ING" problem here. rushing, sweeping, standing, hoping, going, striking, trying, nothing. Prose writers stay away from ing'ing as much as they avoid "ly". So I'd be careful with it (I realize it was a thought snip-it). The rush of the wind filled my ears. It was a hallowed sound like my heart. A chill accompanied the wind and I pulled my coat tight. If a sudden epiphany was to strike him, it would have occured and he'd be by my side....just some examples of the same sentences in a different way...sorry, hope that wasnt too much of a critical review....and in case it was...love it, great job, keep going :)

[Kayla K]

I thought it was great. It completely let me see into your mind. So emotional

[A.E. Surdam]

Oooh, this was very deep and romantic. :) An enjoyment to read and a wonderful story at that.