Feast on Their Pains

Feast on Their Pains

A Poem by Hippy
"

i thikn im going to take a couple poems just like this in mix it to one epic one

"

Tear the smile from her face

Carve the hurt in her soul

Break her spirits

Just to fill yours

 

Drink her tears

Feast on her pains

Feel good about yourself

You glutinous basterd

 

Fill that hole in your heart

The only, worst way how

But its ok, its all human nature

To destroy others to better yourself

 

Aren’t you glad to be human

© 2010 Hippy


Author's Note

Hippy
its similar to someother peices id like a review

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Reviews

First, 2 technical things: its should be it's in line 11 and b*****d is the correct spelling. Otherwise this short poem is short on metaphor... that's OK because you use words/phrases that are strong enough without embellishment and project powerful images (carve the hurt, drink her tears and so on). The flow is good, structure (shape and line length) match the topic well. You're not afraid to use a one-line stanza at the close - that's very good. Everything about the poem ias consistent - and that's good too. Good emotional release. Don't limit your writing to this subject or this style, though. You use 'regular' languge well in this kind of writing and should test your skills on other poems as well.

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow. this is amazing. just... wow. great job! :D

Posted 14 Years Ago


wow you are definitely on point with this piece... there are some people like that. very well written...

Posted 14 Years Ago


this reminds of my ex , how he would treat me real bad... great piece

Posted 14 Years Ago


I liked this. Very nice flow. Im thinking your talking about a man treating a woman badly. Happens all the time.. Nicely written.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Very good poem.

Posted 14 Years Ago


this was nice. keep up the good work.

Posted 14 Years Ago


although i hate the topic of this one, i think you did an amazing job writing about it :)well, i guess i dont hate the topic, i just hate how true it is. day in and day out i watch people being made fun of, just for there own pleasure. i try my best not to be that person, nevertheless, you did an amazing job writing this :)

Posted 14 Years Ago


Well done =]
Couldn't have written a better one!!!!
Some people do feast on other peoples pains and it sucks worse than anything else in the whole entire world.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Whoa. There is a lot to be learned from this poem.
Many men should hear this. You have shown a lot
of maturity in your words. You seem to be able to
read people. This is a real wake up call.

Posted 14 Years Ago



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Added on March 12, 2010
Last Updated on March 12, 2010

Author

Hippy
Hippy

Underland, IN



About
My names austin lee wallace i am a hippy and thats what they all call me. i love music its the greatest, i play guitar the harp piano flute violin and whatever i can get me hands on. Im not much of a .. more..

Writing
Vibrations Vibrations

A Poem by Hippy



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