faith lost

Sometimes

My lip trembles

My heart melts

Guilt pushes the dagger through and twists

Pain. Regret.

I’ve loved the devil again.

Black hole. Guilt finds home in soul.

Every time I’m gasping. Pain. Sorrow. Failure.

Every time I’m forgiven

But every time it gets harder

And something is lost

The deep black of guilt is removed from

My soul, and as it tears away,

Ligaments of life shred away from my soul

Bit by bit. Eating away Life. Glory. Joy. Faith. Full life.

Keep my soul among the living.

Let my tears of remorse flow

Gush down.

Every day they can.

Tomorrow I might feel nothing.

That scares me more. 

Reviews

[Astro]

I really like this one because it could be about a bunch of different things, such as love, addiction, or literally about faith. I like that line about "ligaments of life being shredded away from the soul" great image and powerful. There is a clear voice throughout which draws the reader in and carries it along. One note, though is the use of the word "Life" twice in the same line, with "life" in the line above and "living" in the next. Seems like a bit of an overuse, or weakness to the dramatic effect or impact of that portion of the poem. Overall good job though.

[BuffyWillowDawnAngelGil..]

other than not repeating the word life in the sentence 7 up from the bottom I really like it. It shows that people live with pain and fear but that we're still scared of dying even though we hope and think (I'm a Christian)that after life will be better.

[AutumnBelle]

thanks so much for your comment!

[Avinash]

A very dark and gallant fight to overcome inner and outer negativity as if someone is locked inside a dark room without doors but still has promise of beauty and happiness.

[AutumnBelle]

thank you for your comment, avinash!