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The time has come

The time has come

A Story by AFX787359
"

Uh...yeah...something I came up with while bored in math class

"

It was 3:00 in the afternoon; I glanced out of my window one more time­, soaking in all the sight of the sun setting and all the other beauties of nature. This was it. I would follow through with it this time - no questions asked!


Closing my eyes for a second, I evened out my breathing and calmed my nerves as though I were merely absorbing the beauty of a waterfall. I opened up my laptop one more time and opened the file - the note that I had written over three weeks ago. I had never gotten the nerves to commit the act until now, but that had all changed as though the clocks had stopped and began to turn counterclockwise. It was time; I could feel it as strongly within myself as I could the pulse on my jugular.


To whoever reads this, if anyone does:


I have left. There is nothing to worry about. I don’t believe in heaven or hell; I only know that my body will decompose and all its nutrients will return to its root - Mother Earth. I have no regrets whatsoever about what I have done; I am tired of being a burden for everyone around me. I am not worth the time and energy that people seem to spend on me - rather, they pretend to, anyway. Yes, I know of everyone’s exasperation/irritation with me.


And mostly, however, I have disappointed myself too many times. It is done.

I thank Mother Earth for bringing me up on her back and giving me sustenance all through my life.


Good Bye, for good!


I closed the file and shut down my laptop with a stolidity that could rival the strength of the world's most ruthless emperor. Even Ivan the Great would have been jealous


Finally, with a smile as grim as the black of night, I raised the object in my hand up to my throat, and with a quick swipe of the blade, I exited this world, giving Mother Earth back what she had given me...

© 2011 AFX787359


Author's Note

AFX787359
Uh...yeah....

Don't read too far into it

Version II: Updated! Thanks Deep!

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Featured Review

Okay, as a piece of writing, it doesn't feel bleak, as it should. Your narrator is very indifferent, when he should be at the very edge of despair. Even if you have a stoic character, it shouldn't be that he's an unfeeling character.
I feel a metaphor somewhere would do the trick.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Don't exactly agree with Deep. I can sense the euphoria he seems to feel at being at rest, without burden of himself. Again, not bleak, but there is a tinge of sympathy, and a waste of life/talent. Makes me want to convince the narrator not to do anything stupid. Engaged me very much into the writing.
It still sounds slightly too formal, though. The language is repetitive, and you could use more descriptive adjectives. Not Stephenie Meyer, but still more than what you have. The imagery is...limited. Love the content, just work on description. Keep writing, sweetie!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Okay, as a piece of writing, it doesn't feel bleak, as it should. Your narrator is very indifferent, when he should be at the very edge of despair. Even if you have a stoic character, it shouldn't be that he's an unfeeling character.
I feel a metaphor somewhere would do the trick.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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528 Views
2 Reviews
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Added on April 8, 2011
Last Updated on April 9, 2011
Tags: teen, stress
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Author

AFX787359
AFX787359

Monroeville, PA



About
Hey, I'm a sarcastic person who has a bad and unusual sense of humor. I love reading and writing, two of my favorite hobbies. more..

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A Story by AFX787359