The time has come

The time has come

A Story by AFX787359
"

Uh...yeah...something I came up with while bored in math class

"
Previous Version
This is a previous version of The time has come.



It was 3:00 in the afternoon; I glanced out of my window one more time­, soaking in all the sight of the sun setting and and all the other beauties of nature. This was it. I would follow through with it this time"no questions asked!


Closing my eyes for a second, I evened out my breathing and calmed my nerves. I opened up my laptop one more time and opened the file - the note that I had written over three weeks ago. I had never gotten the nerves to commit the act until now. It was time; I could feel it.


To whoever reads this, if anyone does:


I have left. There is nothing to worry about. I don’t believe in heaven or hell; I only know that my body will decompose and all its nutrients will return to its root - Mother Earth. I have no regrets whatsoever about what I have done; I am tired of being a burden for everyone around me. I am not worth the time and energy that people seem to spend on me - rather, they pretend to, anyway. Yes, I know of everyone’s exasperation/irritation with me.


And mostly, however, I have disappointed myself too many times. It is done.

I thank Mother Earth for bringing me up on her back and giving me sustenance all through my life.


Good Bye, for good!


I closed the file and shut down my laptop.


Finally, with a grim smile, I raised the object in my hand up to my throat, and with a quick swipe of the blade, I exited this world, giving Mother Earth back what she had given me…

© 2011 AFX787359


Author's Note

AFX787359
Uh...yeah....

Don't read too far into it



Featured Review

Okay, as a piece of writing, it doesn't feel bleak, as it should. Your narrator is very indifferent, when he should be at the very edge of despair. Even if you have a stoic character, it shouldn't be that he's an unfeeling character.
I feel a metaphor somewhere would do the trick.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Don't exactly agree with Deep. I can sense the euphoria he seems to feel at being at rest, without burden of himself. Again, not bleak, but there is a tinge of sympathy, and a waste of life/talent. Makes me want to convince the narrator not to do anything stupid. Engaged me very much into the writing.
It still sounds slightly too formal, though. The language is repetitive, and you could use more descriptive adjectives. Not Stephenie Meyer, but still more than what you have. The imagery is...limited. Love the content, just work on description. Keep writing, sweetie!

Posted 9 Years Ago


Okay, as a piece of writing, it doesn't feel bleak, as it should. Your narrator is very indifferent, when he should be at the very edge of despair. Even if you have a stoic character, it shouldn't be that he's an unfeeling character.
I feel a metaphor somewhere would do the trick.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on April 8, 2011
Last Updated on April 9, 2011
Tags: teen, stress

Author

AFX787359
AFX787359

Monroeville, PA



About
Hey, I'm a sarcastic person who has a bad and unusual sense of humor. I love reading and writing, two of my favorite hobbies. more..

Writing
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A Story by AFX787359