The Dark Queen

Lilting, flowing, tarnish words fall from her blackened lips
As she seeks to overpower those who are weak,
Weak within their fallen souls.
Gliding through the misting night frought with peril
She laughs at the children who follow in her path,
The path to ignorance, for that is the way of the world.
She leads them through well worn trails
Of anger, hate and predjudice
But there are none strong enough to impede her blight
Upon the children of the fallen mankind.

Reviews

[J]

Oh.good.grief. So there are those among us who share in the sorrow of our world . . . and the innocence of children too soon corrupted to turn back the advancing tide .......

You have managed to couch in oblique phrases what should be clawing at the closed windows of all humanity. This is an insightful, terribly frightening statement, Brette. Its truth should set one back on their heels and sound the alarm .......

You've said it in a way I never could and therefore, I am indebted.

j

[Iman A.elazim]

you caused a mystery here dear Brette , for this dark queen which leads the
children into dark fait is not known to be a country , an idea or a person

the only fact that you showed is children are taken to visious roads
wish you all the best dear

[Wildecat]

This is a wonderful poem, we all should be concerned with what's going on in our world. Oh I am a Vietnam Veteran. So my thanks goes out to you and your boyfriend for your service to our Country.

[jen -- JG]

Heartbreakingly true. Temptation and destruction of innocents who have no idea is bad enough, but those who weaken when they do know better cause a circle of destruction all their own.

This could almost sound like the 'end of days' but I prefer happy endings so maybe someone will come along with a torch to lead the way.

I really like this although the darkness in it made me feel sad.

Then again - anything that creates a reaction, making us feel or think, is good.

Well Done

Jen

[Donald Meikle]

Hillary?

[April Child]

The dark and the light. The dark will always be there waiting for us to fall, in fact it is in us all along with the light.. I wonder why that is.. Hmmm you got me thinking now. Nice.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very intense... there are those out their that are preyed upon by others wanting to feel good about themselves as they manage to spot those who are already weak and use their weapons of words to make them weaker... A great write on an all to sad subject.

[Jenny Davis]

I really like this. It's dark for sure, but sometimes we gotta go there to get our point across ;)
I think what you've done here is create a great scene, one of which is very true, but has come across fictional in this work. Your command of the english language was superb as well as the poetic glide...
Well done! :)

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

This is a very nice dark poem. I really like this one and once again the writing is amazing. Great job!!!

Heather

[CharlieO]

This is a wonderfully dark poem - very well written.
You have used some wonderful diction throughout this piece and yet at the same time it remains simple as well. The imagery you have used is so rich, I know it has already been said but there is something very gothic about it.
Congrats on this write, and thank you so much for your kind review.