RED HERRING

Romance

I had died a thousand times before this moment.

My hands kept fondling  my purse

The love in his eyes drowned my heart in a pool of agony

How can I break an angels’ heart?

I nervously avert my gaze from his eyes.

Those eyes have told me “I love you countless times”

I feel like an executioner!

His voice jarred me out of my thoughts

“ Babe, is everything okay?

I just said I see my unborn children in those pretty eyes of yours”

My thoughts are scattered as I struggle to meet his eyes.

To memorize every inch of this handsome face

To memorize that adoring smile

I breathe in his sweet fragrance...one last time.

In the past,I would have giggled and responded “ I can’t wait darling “

Today my heart lays panting, exhausted from years of stringing him along

I can’t keep this up!

I owe him the truth!

My voice is hoarse from deep pain

Courage strolls away from me...

I look around apprehensively 

My voice dropped to a low icy whisper 

“ I stopped loving you,

I feel wretched,but I can’t do this anymore”

Reviews

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Whoa, your prose is poetic! So many good lines. I really like how you wrote this in a poem form, it really gives the reader pause as they follow your emotional scene. Wonderfully explained and expressed, dear.

His voice jarred me out of my thoughts - that line is gold.

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

I’m grinning from ear to ear.
Your review just made my day.
I am trying out a simpler way to present prose.

Thank you Cyprian

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the use of the idea of a Red Herring is perfect...trying to tell someone we are no longer in love with that person...but giving clues that distract until we can finally just say it.
Strong feeling in this piece, Titilayo....
j.

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

Thank you Thomas,
The Red Herrings were all the subtle clue given before the ultimate punch.
Breaking up is never easy.

[John the Baptist]

Having been a dumpee a few times, I have never considered the procedure from the vantage point of the dumper. The speaker here comes across as conflicted between anguish at having to do the deed, and dread if it isn't done. Remorse and fear are fighting for supremacy. In the end, fear wins and the detachment is accomplished. But it will be some time for the scars to heal on both sides. The poem really conveys the pain of such situations.

[Titilayo Sarah Eguridu]

Dear John,
I’m deeply honored by your words.
I have been on both sides of the coin.
Either way it’s never easy.
Thank you for reviewing my work...I deeply appreciate it.