Control This

a sudden intense feeling I had...can't really explain it. I honestly don't fully know what this poem is symbolizing for me but I like it

Possibilities of forever, doubtful

The in's and out's of this life don't phase me

I want to get in, and stay in

If only I had control

 

The presence of competence that I use to sense

But lately doubt flows through like molasses

Giving me time to imbibe it so that

By the time I realize this

I'm too slow to control it

 

No one can stay in forever

I know this

Just at least give me the chance to

Control this

 

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

keep working on this.. its a great start, but as confusing as the emotion is to you, its even more confusing to the reader.. the point you are trying to make i mean.. its very well rounded, and i love how you used the word "imbibe".. focus on that unexplainable feeling and use whatever emotion comes from the feeling to express what you want to say.. if its anger, be angry.. if its happiness be happy.. your emotions in the writing are expressed in the readers mind.. so we get you.. Great Write! -s

[selkietales]

Imbibe is a very good word :) I liked your poem.

[reflectingus]

That's a lovely poem with true feelings of self doubt and some introspection. I love how the words kind of flow with pauses, as if in doubt, and the way you elicited that. I think you've done a great job with this poem. Sometimes we tend to get side tracked and lose control over who we are and want to be, but then attempts and experience make us stronger. Could relate.

[...]

I like this too, specially the first verse! I"m not much into control anymore...unless its self-control...chuckles

[Jyango Ryudo]

interesting. makes you really think. i loved the first paragraph! great job :)

[Kelsy]

Great write up...from my own point of view.Love this(really)!

[Brittany]

I liked this. It spoke to me about controlling life and circumstances and how that isn't always possible and how frustrating that is. Well done.

[Renée]

I love when the subconscious causes you to write...it often expresses something that is going on and is very deep...but your conscious mind overrides what is going on...great piece !

[forevermore1218]

The ways you used the presence of control really stood out and made me feel a new mind set spark in. I really enjoyed reading your poems, as always, and hope that you continue tributing art like this.

Job well done :)

[Kuhr Gred]

you can Control that unusual feeling as long your determine to control :) anyway i like the flow of words and really emphasize about control :) thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred