Wildfleour

Wildfleour

A Poem by Ralphy
"

About a friend that I respect

"

Wildfleour

 

 

In the mist of the rainforest

Breaking through the trees

Is a special place

With a mystical breeze

 

The soil so rich

Fit for a king

Deep down are the roots

Crown with an earthen ring

 

The darkness gathers

Around one spot

As the sun shines

So does it lift my heart

 

Out of the ground

Came a shock to me

 a single flower

That fights to be

 

Up she rises

To reach the light

While shadows lash

Into the night

 

The colors are brilliant

The petals many

Curling to witness

The day of plenty

 

She flaunts her colors

For many hours

She is truly a miracle

Her name is Wildfleour

 

 

 

 

 

© 2008 Ralphy


Author's Note

Ralphy
Sometimes, some people need to be Recognized

The photo is licensed to Creative Commons (CC)

I couldn't have written this without the help of Annalisa and JC...Thank you both

My Review

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I really liked this, it's a wonderful tribute and whoever this is about is a very special and lucky person to have a friend like you. Technically there are a few things that need to be brushed up. You begin the poem in the present tense, and then in the third stanza you switch to past. Also in the third stanza the way you word things is really awkward, below is a suggestion on how to smooth that out, but other than that this was lovely. cudos.

The darkness has gathered-------------to---------The darkness gathered
Around one spot----------------------------to---------around one spot
As the sun shines--------------------------to---------As the sun shines
That lifted my heart----------------------to---------My heart lifted


Posted 12 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Ralphy, this is absolutely wonderful. A mystic breeze too was a great expression..Sometimes wild flowers like wall flowers are over looked because humans brains seem trained to only see the well known or the perfect..Wildflowers too needs their place in the sun and you have put her there..God bless..Valentine

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

This is a beautiful poem and an exceptional tribute. Your friend is blessed to have someone as special as you who feels these wonderful things about them and has the heart to put them in writing. Very well done!

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

What an absolutely, wonderfully written poem

From the first paragraph to the last, this reader was taken on a magnificent ride across the heavens

The rhythm, pace and tone of this work of art is splendidly presented

The sixth paragraph was my favorite :)

Take a bow and be proud� you done good!


Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Ralphy, buddy, you did write a wonderful piece here. This is an exceptional tribute for an exceptional writer. None of us can do justice the way you did.

(I know it sounds weird and odd, but I think I will like you to write my eulogy)

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great tribute to a wonderful person! I love it that others recognize the things I adore about Wildfleour. Thanks for penning this -- we both enjoyed this very much :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Great job Ralphy! A fitting tribute! I didn't notice any flaws and everything seemed to flow very well. I thoroughly enjoyed this (:

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

well I think this is perfect the way it is , who ever this goes out to is a very lucky person to have you stand beside them and be true to them,I think this is a wonderful piece and no matter how you put things its the way you felt and how you felt it at the time you wrote it .....I am not the type put you down for grammer mistakes or the way you present your poems....I truly think that this was wonderfuly penned ty for sharing this with me its been a blessing god bless

Posted 12 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

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JC
I agree with Annalisa, about the tenses. I If you were going to make a change, personally I would change everything to present tense. Unfortunately, it would require you to re-write the last half.

It is a wonderful tribute to Wildfleour, I really liked the flow and the imagery you presented.

Beautiful Read and thanks for the invite

Posted 12 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.

I really liked this, it's a wonderful tribute and whoever this is about is a very special and lucky person to have a friend like you. Technically there are a few things that need to be brushed up. You begin the poem in the present tense, and then in the third stanza you switch to past. Also in the third stanza the way you word things is really awkward, below is a suggestion on how to smooth that out, but other than that this was lovely. cudos.

The darkness has gathered-------------to---------The darkness gathered
Around one spot----------------------------to---------around one spot
As the sun shines--------------------------to---------As the sun shines
That lifted my heart----------------------to---------My heart lifted


Posted 12 Years Ago


4 of 4 people found this review constructive.

I Love it, Love it, Love it!

Posted 12 Years Ago


5 of 5 people found this review constructive.


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Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on July 8, 2008
Last Updated on July 31, 2008

Author

Ralphy
Ralphy

Belleville, MI



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