Fresh Scent

Fresh Scent

A Poem by Ralphy
"

Love the smell

"

Fresh Scent

 

Through my eyes

I see her beauty

wavering in the air

like warm ripples rising.

 

A sudden dizzy spell,

knocks me off my feet

like a seasonal

changing wind

of hurricane force.

 

A blast of fresh

fragrance,

a swirling scent

adds instability

to the lifting air,

intensifying

my wobbly

knees…

 

Chanel Allure,

capturing my soul

as I drench my head

with icy liquids,

regaining my composure,

and not a moment too soon

as she glides by…

 

© 2009 Ralphy


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Featured Review

My friend you write with such great passion... using the beauty of nature to capture the purity of new love

A sudden dizzy spell,
knock me off my feet
like a seasonal
changing wind
of hurricane force.

this stanza says it all bout how new love can carry you away and make life feel brand new.

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Reviewer Disclaimer:
....................
First off, I am no expert. What I offer here is nothing more than my opinions. I'm no expert, in fact I don't even think that I ever even got an "A" in an English class. But I'll tell you what I liked and what I thought seemed a little off. I'm not trying to make myself feel important (I hate when people do that) I'm just telling you what I think. That being said, I'll go ahead and review:

The only thing that felt mildly askew was in ...

"A sudden dizzy spell,
knock me off my feet"

"knock" feels a smidge odd to my ear. How would it sound to you if it were "knocks"

Otherwise I love this poem. I been in that place that you describe and I'm always willing to go back there.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Magnificent poem, dear friend . . . truly so . . .

"as I drench my head
with icy liquids,
regaining my composure,"

LOVE these lines . . .

the imagery used here is outstanding!

The sense of smell is so utterly alluring . . . completely captivating . . .

You have captured this theme in the words of a Master Poet.

Brava!




Posted 11 Years Ago


Chanel is a wonderful scent and you magnified this in your writings adding romance to it as well

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

uhhh la la la........could actually smell it in the air......deep and passionate......lovely words....

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The entire description of her should be bottled if that were possible.

Your formatting here has a romantic touch which appeals to a woman. Nice write, my friend.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I know that moment, and it is a dizzying experience indeed.

Do you now know how many women will buy that perfume?

Chanel should pay you for it.

A wonderful piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well done....

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I, like everyone else, am a fan of this one Ralphy. I love the expression, how you are able to describe visually what is stirring within you when you get a waft of a beautiful, woman's perfume... composing yourself just in time so no one notices. That's how we lure you in ;)



Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this piece...it's amazing how a smell can evoke such emotion and love, or lust. Love the reference to a hurricane...great way to describe a brand new feeling of love that comes over you. I enjoyed it :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love it when that happens. Seriously, as a writer I find the sense of smell to be tied to memories more than even sight. Describe a sight and the reader may forget it but a smell... bingo, instant recognition in the reader. This had good descriptive qualities and some fine aliteration as well. Great job.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on February 12, 2009
Last Updated on February 28, 2009

Author

Ralphy
Ralphy

Belleville, MI



About
No matter how dark life is, or how clouded, there is always a lighter side to itone that fills you heart with love and your soul with joy Im a complex person of multiracial background, about 5.. more..

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