Coma

A poet's lament on his failing creativity

 

 Mystic virgin beauty bouncing blissfully in bounty

 The poor ignoramus pervert is lost in lustful booty

 Poet's petty soul meandering down the messy maze

 Creativity cocooned and clogged in a hibernating haze

 Random thoughts queued in the webbed cerebral frill

 See the fate of raw delicacy to saute in a frozen grill

 Imagination fails sparking aesthetics in literary inventory

 Poet's poetry dreads a death bed in the mortal cemetery

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! This is a cornucopia of delightful & well-crafted vocabulary! Your word choices are singing! Your alliteration is on the borderline of being excessive, but that's a good thing for us alliteration freaks. I love the word "coma" to describe writer's block. This is a topic much written about by writers, but your take is completely original & even a little surprising. What an imagination you have! Loved it!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Margie, for the review ! Normally my language is simple but this time I wanted to try something different. but nothing was coming out for the past few weeks as if all the creativity was in coma and then I thought of this title and this write came.
I too feel that more than two words in alliteration in the same verse sometimes sound excessive. still I kept them and wanted to see the response. Once in black and white, sometimes we tend get attached to our own written words and that's how those words stayed on..I am glad you commented on that aspect.
Thank you very much for appreciating this poem..

[Norman 223]

Ah! Such a conglomeration of consecutive consonants, which belie the content of your complaint, Bala.
However, there was little suggestion of a lack of creativity here, so fear not, gentle poet, you will survive . :-D
Norman

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Sir, for your visit and these kind words..
This is my (only) manufactured piece to break my block. Otherwise, my writes come from heart in a flow as an emotion or as a reaction to something, provided, I have my tab or pen with me (as very rightly said in your Haiku IQ)..

[Manu]

Very well worded and expressed...i just loved this write. Wow, especially for using the title 'coma' for the writers block.
Another wow especially for these two lines:
Random thoughts queued in the webbed cerebral frill
See the fate of raw delicacy to saute in a frozen grill
There is creativity in this writing. Every line is awesomely written.

Keep it up, Bala :-)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you very much Gorthi, for visiting and appreciating... Keep visiting..

[Neal S]

Damn! Filled with rhythmic beauty. Every line right where it belongs. Great piece!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and appreciating.....

[Lydia Shutter]

The rhyming, the alliteration, the powerful emotions, the word choice....Bala, your creativity is not failing at all, my friend. However, every poet can identify with this. Writing about writer's block helps us get through it! Great job. Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Lydia,for those kind words of of appreciation.. To be frank , this baby was not coming out so I had to push it out with with those words..
Thank you very much for your visit..

[Anindita Janhabee]

Very good choice of words. Nice to see such a beautiful work... I like the flow here... Lament of a poet in falling creativity.... Quite an interesting topic to write about. And for us, obviously it's an emotional one at the same time.....
Very good writing... Never lost the creativity.... It won't leave you though.........
Anindita

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Anindita for the appreciation....They call it a writers block... I just used a different name....

[Anindita Janhabee]

it's always a pleasure....

[Asante]

This was an awesome write, Bala.

Quite the unique take on something we all come into contact with at some point in our connection to writing. Writer's block is the worst, to put it frankly, but you capture that with extremely strong wordplay here.

Great work, Bala. :)

[Bala Gorthi]

When creativity got blocked I tried to push it with strong words. You can call it my experiment.. Thank you for the appreciation..

[Alfred Kukitz]

Excessive but blissfully delightful. Tight, original!

Regards,
Al

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and reviewing......