A Silent Vow

for ten words contest

I live here morbidly in this hot concrete jungle,
But I am not a jackdaw that willingly, joyfully dwells
in tall structures. Believe me, every day my agony swells

My soul loves roaming in woodsy trails
That often puts my mundane train off its rails
Seeing spiky leaves and bright colours of gladiolus
This soul lubberly finds joy, to express it, I am at loss
The panorama around woods fills my ever hungry soul
with the taste of  grenadine that makes me whole
As  I tour the vineyards with lustrous green grapes
and waving pomegranate trees present dancing drapes
I go drowsy bathing in the ambrosia of the taste
Its spell on my thirsty soul making other things  a waste
intoxicated in nature's bounty, this, I want to canvass
Going timeless, mindless and ecstatic, I want to pass
My every cell, entire tissue gets fully grossed
by your graceful presence and I lay possessed
No hefty sum in this world can buy this joy
The whole world for me is just a broken toy

I just want to lay there dear Mother Nature,
In your kind lap, I want to lay all my future
I assure I won't tamper, touch or damage
anything. Accept me else I will be a savage
unto my last breath in this worldly cage.

Reviews

[Great Aunt Astri]

What a fine job you have made of these ten words! Refreshing to read about the heart-felt appreciation of the natural world. We must indeed honour the Earth and 'steward' the beautiful works of Mother Nature, as best we can.
'Accept me else I will be a savage, unto my last breath in this worldly cage.'

[Bala Gorthi]

I am glad you enjoyed the write. Thank you for your visit and kind words of appreciation

[William Liston]

Bala, you are one of the few (if not the only) writers on this site who can use little-known words and make them fit the nuances of your poem so perfectly. Usually, when I read poetry with "big words," (especially those written for this contest), it feels forced and stilted, as though the words were used only to say "Hey! Look at my amazing vocabulary" as opposed to complementing the poem. That isn't the case in your poetry. Your expressions are so natural that every word melts right in. I enjoy your skill in using this contest to craft absolute gems. Excellent work!

- William Liston

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you William, for visiting and appreciating.I am glad you you see my work in that light. I appreciate your understanding, maturity, depth and sincerity in everything you do. And that touches me.
So your reviews mean a lot to me.
Keep visiting, my friend...

[Lydia Shutter]

You love of nature comes through loud and clear in this well written poem. You got all the words in there seamlessly. Great job! Lydi**

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Lydi, for visiting and appreciating.

[Karmee]

such a wonderful write, enjoyed this

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and and leaving your words. I am glad you enjoyed this one.

[Sami Khalil]

You posses grace, beauty and compassion to make that silent vow of care and protection to the natural world that lives and breathes. Your poem is a winner and your soul is a winner...:)............

[Bala Gorthi]

A great poet's visit and comments make me feel honoured. Thank you for your visit and appreciation..

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. Any time. ..::::)))

[Surya]

Praising beauty in nature...
But if one finds joy in greenery treasures, I hope no one dare to damage them...
I loved it absolutely...:)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and appreciating my work..

[Anjali]

What a lovely poem on nature. I appreciate the way you have started describing about the concrete jungle and then expressing the joy of the natural.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Anjali for visiting and appreciating the write. I appreciate your continuous support to my work.

[.]

Very deep writing.

Another ten word contest entry, and one with a much more difficult choice of words. You have used your words extremely well.

Your descriptive imagery is the highlight of the piece for me. Lush visuals of nature divine; the scents, tastes and visual beauty of all that nature has on display. Sometimes we all need to head back to nature from our concrete jungles to really appreciate just what we have around us. Sharpen the senses to all beauty again.

Another fine write, Bala. Extremely visual, well written and with a lovely pledge.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you Doodley, for your visit and the kind words of appreciation. This is my heart speak reflecting my longing for nature in its wild and pure form.
Thank you for your kind support to my work.

[barleygirl]

This is one time when the ten words are furthest from my mind. Your message is well-crafted in spite of that extra task of using certain words. My favorite part is describing the forest walk in such unusual terms, with the lusciousness of grapes & pomegranate, it feels like a spiritual experience. I especially love the final stanza where you promise Mother Nature that you won't try to change anything in her artistic creation of this world. I love that sentiment as personifying nature and also honoring all that's natural.

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for your kind visit and appreciation. Margie, the last section shows my internal longing for " A Spiritual Odyssey" which looks like a remote dream looking at the way I am locked in bondings and duties. I am glad you liked that section. Though this is written fir the contest, every word of it expresses my love for the existence.

[Pat Aube Gray]

Excellent use of the words and beautifully written.
Congratulations!

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you ma'am for your precious visit and kind words.
Keep visiting.