Silence, I realised, is terribly loud When I tried for a while to be silent Inside I see that roaring lousy cloud A cloud my yelling wounds strongly vent
Running after an illusion of inner peace I encountered a stock of vicious grudges Vile intentions and curses spark mad menace Mute volcanoes they create give aching hedges
In the darkness behind closed eyes Dark and colourful scenes ceaselessly flow Countless images keep turning like dice Their magnitude giving me a mortal blow
A self expedition of the unknown My odyssey looking for equanimity Showed dirty shades the mind has deep down Making this helpless soul shaken to insanity.
The little encounter with my noisy self The silly sad grumbling revengeful mate Secretly storing hurts of hell in a hidden shelf All heaping sorely behind that closed gate
I now know what to do to reach the shore Erasing the malice and trash causing ill fate Learning not to store anything like before For, now I know how to reach a peaceful state
Many a person has tried to calm the inner demons with silence and meditation, hoping with a sense of calmness all their troubles would disappear. If only it was that simple! What it does do however, is allow us the opportunity to really delve deep into our core and forces us to tackle our demons head on. Solutions always appear in these moments of solitude.
I enjoyed the poem. Well written as always with a thoughtful theme. Perhaps place that final line on its own beneath the last stanza. Just to maintain a sense of structural uniformity for the piece, with the final line standing alone as the moral conclusion to the whole poem. Just a thought.
Very nice work, Bala. Deep and meaningful.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you Doodley, for your visit and kind words and as always very valuable inputs. they always hel.. read moreThank you Doodley, for your visit and kind words and as always very valuable inputs. they always help. Your contribution in shaping out and inspiring other writers here is immense.Please keep visiting always guiding me. I know there is not writing from these days.
Your suggestion is taken and implemented...
I really liked your introduction, Bala, that " Silence speaks loudly........." We are so often lost in a cacophony of political, advertising and religious dissent, that our own thoughts are immersed in self doubt. Quiet contemplation in isolation allows us to "hear" our own inner voice.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
I started thinking it would be an odyssey of silence which actually turned out a journey of inner n.. read moreI started thinking it would be an odyssey of silence which actually turned out a journey of inner noise.
Thank you for visiting and appreciating..
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Hard and deep journey in your words. I liked the honest tone and thoughts. You made the reader think and ponder. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
That chattering inner mind can be a real nuisance, sometimes getting very critical and aggressive. "The silly sad grumbling revengeful mate." says it well. You are quite right, "Learning not to store...", but sometimes it is very hard to let it go. Different people have different strategies to do this. I am glad that the poet now knows " how to reach a peaceful state." I hope he enjoys the rest of his days on earth. Thank you for writing this poem.
Thank you very much for your kind visit and precious words, my friend Astri. The realisation is ther.. read moreThank you very much for your kind visit and precious words, my friend Astri. The realisation is there but the application of it I.e. maintaining detachment with awareness is something very difficult to practise in real life situations especially where the self and close ones are involved. But it is not impossible..
Thank you for your time.. Keep visiting
7 Years Ago
Yes, it must be difficult to always be detached, with awareness. But another, perhaps less spiritual.. read moreYes, it must be difficult to always be detached, with awareness. But another, perhaps less spiritual, strategy is just not to let anything that will cause inner disruption, affect you. I went for a bit of therapy once. The most useful thing she said to me was , "Be a duck, just let the waters roll off your back.", and do you know, that helped so much. I do still have inner turmoil from time to time, but that seems to roll away when recognised, and most of the time I do feel pretty peaceful. Which is nice, when you are getting old, like me.
7 Years Ago
Thank you for sharing the strategy of letting things off the back. I shall try to keep it in mind.read moreThank you for sharing the strategy of letting things off the back. I shall try to keep it in mind.
I am also not young any more. A mother of two adults and fully possessed by my family. My poem "the poet's biopsy" tells what it means to me. Thankfully I have no material attractions but the emotional aspect shakes the balance a little bit once in a while. But any kind of holding affects our health and peace.
Good to be sharing thoughts with you..
Many a person has tried to calm the inner demons with silence and meditation, hoping with a sense of calmness all their troubles would disappear. If only it was that simple! What it does do however, is allow us the opportunity to really delve deep into our core and forces us to tackle our demons head on. Solutions always appear in these moments of solitude.
I enjoyed the poem. Well written as always with a thoughtful theme. Perhaps place that final line on its own beneath the last stanza. Just to maintain a sense of structural uniformity for the piece, with the final line standing alone as the moral conclusion to the whole poem. Just a thought.
Very nice work, Bala. Deep and meaningful.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you Doodley, for your visit and kind words and as always very valuable inputs. they always hel.. read moreThank you Doodley, for your visit and kind words and as always very valuable inputs. they always help. Your contribution in shaping out and inspiring other writers here is immense.Please keep visiting always guiding me. I know there is not writing from these days.
Your suggestion is taken and implemented...
There's a common experience many have when trying to meditate for the first few times, not being able to quiet their minds, & you've shown this with an abundance of clarity & even drama. Your words seemingly describe a battle to quiet the raging mind which can sometimes take years to win. I'm not a big fan of using a repeating line over & over as in this poem. I think it would be good to try using this line less often or maybe altering it so we see what it means more clearly with each varying statement. It isn't until the final stanza that it becomes clear what this repeating line really means, anyhow, so it's kinda hanging out there, over & over, but not clear until the end. This is my only dislike, but it's just a personal preference of mine. Otherwise, your poem is very spot-on with the experience.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you Margie, for visiting and sharing your view. I agree with you. I am glad you have said it.<.. read moreThank you Margie, for visiting and sharing your view. I agree with you. I am glad you have said it.
In fact, originally the refrain was written only as the last verse. And later I decided to add it as the last verse in every stanza because this realisation strikes at phenomenon of mind as we introspect. Day after day you encounter different shades and every time the lesson is same, how our past or sometimes thoughts about future hang around every corner and our present is conditioned by it. So later I decided to use the verse as refrain in this write.
I now understand that for readers it does not show the real connection with particular section when you read each section.
Thank you for honest remarks and valuable inputs.
I have removed the refrain from the first five sections and presented it as it was originally written..
Keep visiting and sharing..
7 Years Ago
I've tried to go thru all your postings to make sure I didn't miss any. If you ever find one I haven.. read moreI've tried to go thru all your postings to make sure I didn't miss any. If you ever find one I haven't reviewed, feel free to read-request me (((HUGS)))