The f*****g curse

I feel so ashamed

but yet to feel releved

I revieled one of my deepest darkest secret to someone i love

I ask them if they still feel the same way about me

and he says yes i do

but i feel he doesnt

or maybe the feeling is he accepted it was the past

and i havnt yet to do so

theres nothing to say

nothing to do

i cant lie to him even if i tried

not even a little white lie

i cant hide no more

i have to be myself not have to

i am myself now

but yet i feel the hatred

and feel like im close to cry

which i have been these past weeks

i love him

but the curse has a hold on me

and is to far deep in my wounds and scars

This curse has been haunting and hunting me the day my mother brought me in this world

This curse upon me takes everything away from me that has a meaning

something i love

This curse took away my mother

My father

half of my family

my baby brother

The people i have dated

all my past best friends

and thats not it

this curse has a dark preasents

becuase it curses with death

Death was brought upon my parents

my baby brother

half my family

my past best friends

all my exs

I dont know if its me

it cant be

but all i know is the only feeling i feel is anger, hatred, and sadness

this curse plays around with me

It lets me feel as happy as i can ever feel

and when it has me where it wants me

a snap of finger that fats

the person either pases away

or leaves me becuase they dont want anything to do with me

And it usally waits for two to four months

and so far Richy and I have been together for two months

and already im feeling the feeling i did in the past

The repetative feeling