Poison

Poison

A Poem by Lauren_The_Awesome

The feeling of strangulation
Every time you think of getting with him
You want him
But he tastes like poison
Every time your with him you get a high off him
But the after effects of the drug are what gets you
The thought of weakening you heart
More and more
Sickening yourself with thinking he is what you need in life
How about you don't need him
How about he is just using you
He talks about the future
But do you want to live with him for the rest of your life?
Don't torture yourself
Don't live in the hell that you'll be in if you stay
Don't get used and abused
Life doesn't have to be this way
You choose what path you go down
It just depends which one is right for you

© 2016 Lauren_The_Awesome


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Featured Review

Alright so first off, I belive the poem could've flowed better. I feel like some of the lines come off as forced instead of just going along with the rest of the poem. I like the meaning to an extent. Overall this comes off less as a well written poem and more as a thought put on paper. It's not bad, honestly. You could probably do better though, and I'm sure you will do better in the future :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review



Reviews

I love how your writing is like a window into the speaker's mind. It's a very unique style and it works very well. You're very talented.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much :)
Alright so first off, I belive the poem could've flowed better. I feel like some of the lines come off as forced instead of just going along with the rest of the poem. I like the meaning to an extent. Overall this comes off less as a well written poem and more as a thought put on paper. It's not bad, honestly. You could probably do better though, and I'm sure you will do better in the future :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the review
The pain,
Brought upon by the acid rain,
Hearts beating fast,
So long but please dont last.
You tell yourself its over,
Your clever,
You try so hard to never,
Pretending its all to real.
Never allow those poisons to strike you,
Always think clear,
Heaven is so near,
But hell is closer to the ones who show their true intent

Posted 3 Years Ago


I can relate to this based simply on the theme of drugs and addiction, unfortunately, though I know what you're really going for.

The format works well with this one. Maybe you could edit it slightly.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Okay. Thank you for reading :)
Lovecraft

3 Years Ago

No problem, Tis a pleasure.
Good job,I can definitely relate to this. Sometimes it seems that the things that feel so good are bad for us. Nice one.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much :)
We always want what we can't have , we always try to fix the broken, and failure always shatters us.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

That is so true. Thanks for the review.
Another heart-break warfare and another great piece. Good work.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lauren_The_Awesome

3 Years Ago

Thank you :)

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443 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on November 26, 2016
Last Updated on November 26, 2016

Author

Lauren_The_Awesome
Lauren_The_Awesome

FL



About
I'm an upcoming writer that hopes one day to succeed. I write mostly poems about my past and the present. My inspiration comes from experience in my life and certain music that makes my mind go into a.. more..

Writing