Ella Relapse

Read Authors Note

Here's for the martyr
Call it out in vain
Holding the razor
Let the kiss
Caress my veins
Relapse bliss
Into the unknown
Holding steady
The game will overload
~*~
Ella has relapsed
They smile and cheer
Playfully mocking
Her every whim and care
Innocent teen
Taken away
All that is left
Decay has taken her place
~*~
Ella was thirteen
When she felt razors kiss
Now she clings
To the deepness
The fiery hiss
More of a notion
Than anything else
The only thing
She has control of
Is the pain she causes herself
~*~
Ella had friends
Who she once adored
Now she is abandoned
Left like dirt on the floor
Would the recognize
If they met on the street
Ella is certain
She is ready to except defeat
~*~
Find an outlet
Alice once said
Write it all down
Kill the thoughts in your head
Ella tried
For five weeks straight
Accomplished nothing
Then ran away
~*~
Newspaper clipping
And Photographs cover the floor
Her mother cries
Ella is no more
Put in the ground
twenty one years of age
What she left behind
Ceased to matter anyway
~*~
Here's for the martyr
Call it out in vain
Holding the razor
Let the kiss
Caress my veins
Relapse bliss
Into the unknown
Holding steady
The game will overload

Author's Note

I can't say that I relapsed into cutting, because I can't remember a time that I valued life enough to stop before now. I look down at that razor every time something goes wrong and think of my kids and of John. I think of the people who love me, who want me here and who are my friends no matter what mood I am in or no matter if I am on or off my medication. Thanks you guys.

Reviews

[ivizarx]

if you truly are going through problems, dis n***a is always here to talk... though a complete stranger, I've experienced these situations before, third-person perspective and first, through many different ways including the issue that seems to be yours at the moment...
I've devoted myself to never ingesting medication or drugs, other than recreational, of any kind (for depression or other problems like schizo) and have handled them well beyond the normal standard according to myself and professional psychs alike... so really, if you need someone, I've got an inbox waiting to be filled. helping out fellow human beings is the best thing ever a human could ever do with his/her life.

As for the poem, awesome structure even though it seems to be written in free verse. it's kept very tight and has easy reading abilities, hate to say "flow" cuz it necessarily doesn't fit. very much enjoyed it and good subject to write about except for the part of it being related to suicide, but that's just perspective. enjoy your work very much so, so thnk you for all your RRs

[Sweet Emotions]

I love this, dark stories and poems are my favorite. I hope you're discovered the strength to put down the blade. It's a tough battle but you can do it.

[Alice]

WOW,the depth of your soul soars high above the words.For you have felt love so hold on to love with both hands because sorrow is always around the corner.

[Aristede Craig Jr]

beautiful the pain you feel let out to leak on the page, dry up your tears and turn the page write into the light blinds your gaze, the blade; the blade is to feed yourself not take from yourself , i may not know you but i will try to get to know so i can say i love you and be part of the people keeping you from going there, you are here for a reason every opinion on you is just that you make thy facts

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A high stakes of emotion and feeling that leads the reader to melt into the words and the mind of the writer, well done, great read.

[dreaming dame]

Sad story. But beautifully written.:)

[Ruth]

Brave and wonderful write love...some trials through life are never over and heartfelt honesty is always striking in a poem :)
Hugs!
xx

[alerodri]

dear friend, i fell your pain i really do and u r not alone u have me here with me i absolutelly adore talking to u and maybe i could lisen to your problems, do not give up we may be strangers but i can promise to always lisen to u and try my best to understand u. And about self destroction i understand the need to kill yourself in desseperation, i did the same with food when problems came to my life i did not eat and still some days r life like this we all have those days but u must work pass it, we world would not be the same with out u

[∂αʌ<..]

i agree with London, there are many people who can easily relate to this...i myself thought about it many times but never did i ever try...
a wonderful poem!

[London]

i know theres alot of ppl who can relate to this. brilliant write

[Kayla K]

If you need to talk, I'll try my best to listen.