Blood

I just cut my fingers on my guitar. Ouch.

I glance at my fingers, wondering why they are throbbing with a dull pain. I notice little slices on the tips, and a good amount of blood flowing from them. I then look at the neck of my guitar, its smooth, dark wood stained in red. I frown because I have once again lost track of the time and played too much guitar.
I'm not even good at it, why do I practice this hard? If I was any good, and I had a reason to play, this would be understandable, but I don't. Maybe I should just give up. I'm no good and I hurt myself. Great. My mom gets pissed at me for never playing, but I play all the time. At least twice a week i play for hours on end.
But I love the music so much. And every time I pick up my guitar it makes me remember every reason I try so hard to become a sound technician. All I want in life is to be that person behind the scenes that makes the people on stage sound amazing.
Or maybe I want more. Do I want to be one of those people on the stage? No. No I don't. I am too shy and awkward. I can't even speak in front of a few people, how would I ever play in front of them? But. What if I got good? Would I get that confidence I need to be one of the people on stage, not just a techie?
Maybe this is all just stupid fantasies, and I will never achieve any of it. I will never be in a band. I will never be a technician. Hell, I probably won't even have anything to do with music.
But I shouldn't give up. I have to keep trying. Every one around me doubts my abilities, so I have to prove them wrong. If I don't become who I want to be, than I failed at showing every one that the slacker they thought I was is now a successful person. I need to be someone more. Someone that is actually needed.

Author's Note

It got off topic fast. Or did it? Maybe it is all connected. But it is probably just random piles of thought.

Reviews

[GrandDystopia]

Theres nothing wrong with random piles of thought, it's good to get your own thoughts on paper... or computer screen... moving on.
This was creative in a weird way, please keep on writing, i enjoy your stuff greatly:)
Sorry i haven't been reading your stuff lately, been busy:)