Grandparent's Day

Grandparent's Day

A Poem by Miss Marie Riorden.
"

I believe I could imagine a little girl getting up and saying all this . If that little girl was my daughter

"

On grandparent's day the little girl
Walked into the classroom, all alone
When teacher asked , where's grandma and grandpa?
The little girl looked up , and started to speak
"Grandma and grandpa can't be here today
Because they tossed mommy and threw her away
They treated her bad , teacher you see
Smacked her across the face , didn't let her speak
Daddy says to me, mommy has scars
And though I can't see them I know they are
Parts of who mommy is , what she's done
And daddy treats her nicely, gentle and good
Daddy says grandma , didn't care to much
About her little daughter, she was consumed by drugs
Daddy says that mommy said grandma drank
Night after night , with mean and hurtful fights
Now teacher I know you think this is bad
But please let me continue
Because mommy had a daddy , and a mean one too
This daddy wasn't a daddy
He treated with her hate
She wasn't allowed to speak or talk
Isn't that just a shame?
Daddy tells me mommy don't like to talk
About what her mommy and daddy did to her
Because teacher teacher it was so cold
But I think that now I know
Grandma and grandpa won't be here today
Because they don't care about her, or me or dad"
And with that the little girl sat down
WIth an appalled teacher staring at the ground
And as the tears began to slip
The teacher gave the the little girl a hug
For this grandparent's day
The little girl could see
Much much more than that teacher had seen

© 2011 Miss Marie Riorden.


Author's Note

Miss Marie Riorden.
I think it's understandable of what this is .

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Kia
Aw, that kind of brought tears to my eyes. Very sad but true in many ways. I liket he format you chose to write it in it's almost like a song. It's very lyrical if you comprehend what I mean by that. It's a little dark, but in a good say; in a way that makes it strong and keeps my attention. Good write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Enjoyed:

1) That it is a narration and the story has a purpose
2) It seemed like a real situation and not just fluff
3) "because they tossed mommy and threw her away" Surprises with the image and implication

Could change:

1) At times, I thought the child talked more like an adult, but maybe that was your intention. Ex:

"Night after night , with mean and hurtful fights
Now teacher I know you think this is bad
But please let me continue"

2) Something very small: before every comma, there is an extra space.
3) "Because teacher teacher it was so cold" Maybe a comma would work after the first "teacher."

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Kia
Aw, that kind of brought tears to my eyes. Very sad but true in many ways. I liket he format you chose to write it in it's almost like a song. It's very lyrical if you comprehend what I mean by that. It's a little dark, but in a good say; in a way that makes it strong and keeps my attention. Good write!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
Added on April 30, 2011
Last Updated on April 30, 2011

Author

Miss Marie Riorden.
Miss Marie Riorden.

Remember, KY



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I'm going to address this right now. I do take Read Requests, but that DOES NOT mean you need to RR me everything you write. And I do not read stories unless it's of my own free-will. So do not RR the.. more..

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