The Butterfly's Melody

The Butterfly's Melody

A Poem by Miss Marie Riorden.
"

Sleep now, sleep peacefully. It's only a butterfly's melody

"

Now lay your head to rest, weary you may be
Let me sing you a little song, drift off so easily
This lullaby is one of peaceful intent, the butterfly's melody
Let it calm you into dreams; my dear, be set free
Soft though my voice will entrance, to places filled with glee
Let yourself drift off, be lost; my love, let your fears flee
Go to a place where butterflies rest, laying peacfully by the sea
Watch carefully for sea-gulls; the birds, and the bee
It's in this meadow that you do rest, sleep peacefull with me
And I will continue to sing gracefully; The Butterfly's Melody

© 2011 Miss Marie Riorden.


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Enjoyed:
1) Watch carefully for sea-gulls; the birds, and the bee" Hints of terror that are possible.
2) "And I will continue to sing gracefully; The Butterfly's Melody" Dark and light both.
3) The tone makes the reader confused as to if it is positive or melancholy. It is good to have this kind of contrast.

Could change:
1) "Let yourself drift off, be lost; my love, let your fears flee" I think the phrase "be lost" is kind of repetitive in meaning with "drift off."
2) "Go to a place where butterflies rest" You could cut "go" and lead the last line comfortably into this one.
3) "It's in this meadow that you do rest," This phrase could be phrased with more flow.

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on July 11, 2011
Last Updated on July 11, 2011

Author

Miss Marie Riorden.
Miss Marie Riorden.

Remember, KY



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I'm going to address this right now. I do take Read Requests, but that DOES NOT mean you need to RR me everything you write. And I do not read stories unless it's of my own free-will. So do not RR the.. more..

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