Earth

A journalist at an intergalactic newspaper is tasked with what he hopes will become his crowning achievement.

"Logiplixx! I need a paragraph on the planet Earth, stat!"

I worked as a journalist at an intergalactic newspaper. I was hoping to win some sort of award and win quintillions of credits. "Right away, sir!"

I was going to write the article of the millennium.

---

I slammed my report onto the editor's desk. "I think you'll like what you read."

He picked it up, speed-read it and put it down, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Logiplixx..."

"Award-winning work, am I right? I mean, I don't mean to get ahead of myself, but..."

The editor slapped me and stood on his desk. "Journalists, gather around. I want all of you to listen to this.

"Ahem... 'Earth is a planet with blue and green. The people there are squishy and leak red when you bite them. They have cousins called pigs. They and their cousins are used to make bacon. Bacon is a good food on earth. I peed my pants on a rollercoaster.'

"Can anyone tell me what I'm going to do to the being who wrote this?"

The group gathered around the desk was silent. The editor's eyes narrowed as he scanned their faces.

"Give me the Nobellium Prize?" I asked hopefully. Everyone turned towards me.

"No, I'm not giving you the Nobellium Prize. I'm going to fire you!"

"Fire me? Why?!"

"It should be very obvious why: this is plagiarism! I wrote this when I became a journalist and you stole it, word-for-word!"