A Poem by LilyM;)

this is from like 5 years ago and i dont like it but watev


I love to go into the forest.  In a way it is mysterious, but open for discovery.  The animals vanish like Indian warriors.  If you listen carefully, you can hear the bubbly singing of the streams. The forest smells like pine and oak.  The bark of the trees is hard and rough.  The tiny specks of light look like fairy dust.  The colors of leaves vary from dull browns, fiery reds, sunset oranges to astonishing greens.  The dry leaves crack crunchily under foot and the packed dirt sounds hollow.  I think the forest is a haven of peace and, if you love it, a healer for the sick.

© 2009 LilyM;)

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"animals vanish like Indian warriors"
not a good line
the poem is good though
you described the forest and its vegetation and wildlife well

Posted 11 Years Ago

Ya definately see what you mean... I would probably write it verrry differently now but I was in fifth grade at the time...thanks for the advice though:)

Posted 11 Years Ago

Sorry, I don't mean to be a kill-joy but description is needed. You have the basics here, but just like an onion [sorry thats weird I know] you need the layers. For example, you could elaborate on the bark of the tree; it's rough surface abrases my fingers as I sweep them over the surface. Small granules stick to the pads of my fingers....I don't know, something like that. It's an off-day so it sounds stupid. But imagine yourself there, doing the exact option and write down how it would be for all your senses. Pretend it's a movie or something and describe it as you see it. Maybe that'll work? Good base though, and I like it :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

I like the way you described the forest good job i liked it :)

Posted 11 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on December 23, 2009
Last Updated on December 23, 2009



Tokyo, Japan

HI! My name is Lily Mae Parker. I have a twin sister Ashley Victoria who I call Ash, an older sister who is 21, and two brothers Drake, 11 and Tyler, 10. Im 15, my birthday is August 11th. I Love .. more..

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A Poem by LilyM;)