Tell Me

Tell Me

A Poem by Ben Barton

Tell me, friend,
when you look up to the heavens,
what do you see?
Do you see the loved and lost,
or the promise of salvation?
Or do you simply see the stars,
turned out in all their splendour?

Tell me, brother,
when your thoughts are free to roam,
what do you wonder?
Do you wonder how we came to be,
or how we will come to leave?
Or do you simply see the now,
unburdened by forever?

Tell me, dear,
when you're walking through our home,
what do you wish?
Do you wish for someplace bigger,
or someplace with a view?
Or do you simply see the joy
destined for us, together?

© 2016 Ben Barton


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I like this and can relate to it in some ways...
Friend and brother, they get the meaning of life questions we blokes ask over a pint (often the 5th or 6th).

Whereas 'Dear' (or my beloved anyway) doesn't really do the philosophical stuff.

I like it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


To me, this seems to subtly admonish those who see life as in the first two possibilities of every stanza, whereas the final viewpoint in each stanza is seemingly judged as the best way. I agree with you in the conclusion of each stanza, but the first parts of each stanza feel less than genuine to me. When you open each stanza with: "tell me dear/brother/friend" . . . this seems inviting on the surface, but upon further reading, I don't feel a tone of friendliness or brotherhood, so the opening comes off as sounding a teensy bit sarcastic. It's kinda like: If you agree with my viewpoint, then we'll live happily ever after. This is how many people view life, so you've nailed it as far as presenting a realistic point of view.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ben Barton

3 Years Ago

Hey, thanks for taking the time to write a review! It's much appreciated.

This wasn'.. read more
Love the two views you give the reader, and how the questions seem to get more intimate when presented to each relation. Almost sad in a way, knowing that people just see something at face-value and never looking beyond, into a greater meaning.
Then again I could be reading too much into it. lol
Well done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ben Barton

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review, Caddy! That's a really cool interpretation. I was trying to pose both sides o.. read more
Stop being better than me T_T

Posted 3 Years Ago


Ben Barton

3 Years Ago

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOOOOUUUUT
Rhia Thurman

3 Years Ago

LOUD. NOISEEEEES.
Usman Muhammad

3 Years Ago

Hello everybody i am new to this group. I submitted my story "We The Lost Ones" in this group. I hop.. read more

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4 Reviews
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Added on April 8, 2016
Last Updated on April 8, 2016

Author

Ben Barton
Ben Barton

Hereford, Herefordshire, United Kingdom



About
I love words, books, and The Office. Oh, and the Queen. And Maggie Smith, who is a queen in her own right. more..

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