The Villain's Long Fall

The Villain's Long Fall

A Chapter by Scott Free

Vikthin speaks, for once. :D Greg's chapter, but we both went through it and did some edits. Should be good.


 Professor Bwehehe's hand clenched a gold-lined parchment. He was not a stupid gnoll, though some thought as much. He knew when to fight, when to surrender, and when to wet his pants and flee. He had already accomplished the first part of his new plans. Now he just had to flee. 

He would not flee like that idiot Braston, though. He would have the full force of the OYVE to guard him as he escaped. And, who knows, perhaps he could turn all them into gnolls and rule the world once and for all! That however, could wait until they were long gone. Upon reflection, he probably wouldn't have the guts to rule the world.

Well, he was in charge of the OYVE now and they would all agree with a good thump in the right direction. No one need know about the invasion force. If he could release the ancient tower's true power, they would be gone before the King could notice. 

As he slid across the floor he casually trashed the urgent plea for help from the king. They did not need it, and the King wouldn't need them for long. Few dead people needed anything. Well, zombies needed a glass of water and a well-cooked brain now and again, but that was splitting hairs.


Villains of the OYVE often did tasks that might not be considered ‘villainous.’ These included staining floors with acid, painting bloodstains on the walls, torturing young creatures, rigging booby traps, painting real bloodstains on the walls (in some of the more prestigious teachers rooms), and of course picking up litter. 

The last was Vikthin's current task. He made his way from hallway to hallway picking of scraps of villains, murderous knives, poison darts, candy wrappers, royal proclamations—the usual. 

One such royal proclamation seemed freshly dropped. Vikthin was always curious of events outside of OYVE as all news was filtered through the principal before it was proclaimed. He blinked at the seal on it and hurriedly turned it over. 

Dear Principal Braston, 

Greeting to the OYVE. I do hope all your villains are coming along nicely, or not so nicely as you prefer.

The Kingdom of Archipelago is under attack by that great oversea superpower, The Empire of Biast. Diplomacy cannot save us; I've tried giving them tribute but they don't want any Villains. Too bad for them. 

In this crisis I need your help. Your forces, combined with my Great Army and that of AAGH, will drive the invader back from our shores. Please send your most insidious Villains to aid me. Oh, strike that, send all of your Villains to help me. We have sheltered OYVE since the beginning; now, you wouldn't betray us would you? Strike that, you WILL not betray us.

Emery the Fiftieth, King of Archipelago, Duke of the Green Reef, and Lord of That Little Island with a Tree in the Middle. Dictated to his Chief Recorder. 

Strike that, The King Who Can Order You Dead At The Drop Of A Hat, Or Perhaps A Guillotine.

Vikthin slowly lowered the paper. So that was what this was all about! This explained Braston’s disappearance; he must have run away. And the next in line for Leadership was Prof B. He had to tell Adam about this. 

He sprinted to Ex-Principal Braston's room where Adam was assailing the walls with partially dead cats. It produced the maximum affect when it came to real bloodstains on the walls. Adam as with everything was a professional at doing this. 

“Look!” shouted Vikthin as he handed the proclamation to Adam. Adam took a while to read it, moving his lips all the while. 

“Er, so what does this mean?” he said after much head-scratching and sounding out of words.

Vikthin rolled his eyes. “It meanth that thinth Prof. B. ith a coward, he ith going to try and run away like Braston did. Or... He might make uth all flee.” Vikthin knew the Students would obey him, as most had a fear of drowning, the reality of it enforced by daily swimming lessons in Professor B’s class.

“Is that a really bad thing?” 

“It meanth that Archipelago will be dethtroyed! If the OYVE doesn't help our families and our economy will be thcattered!” 

Adam gasped. “Does that mean my Mommy too?” 

“Yeah, of courth, why? 

“Prof. B wants to hurt Mummy?” 

“Her and everybody else, yeah. Hey! Where are you going?” 

“Me and Prof. B. are going to have a talk right away. He won't betray my Mummy!” 

The Occupational Young Villain’s Educatorium was built centuries in the past on a peculiar natural formation. It was in fact built upon the cap of a dormant volcano. This had been formed crooked, cutting off much of the natural flow of molten lava. The top of the volcano also faced towards the sea. 

Those who had built the OYVE had understood this formation well and had intended it to be a natural last defense if anyone ever tried to capture the OYVE. When danger struck all the principal had to do was to turn a key. This key would activate a series of mechanisms that would eventually drop the OYVE farther down on one side, and this would be enough to start the eruption, which would send the OYVE tower flying through the air. When it was high enough, a magical engine would fire up and keep the tower flying.

Prof. B. knew this. He also planned to implement it immediately. The two preparations had been finished; polishing the key, and having the teachers alert the students that a vacation was about to be launched.

He had set the key in the opening, and it was ready and waiting to be turned. 
Adam and Vikthin burst through the door just as the key started its revolution. 
"Nogh!" Adam grunted as he dove headlong for the key. 

The Professor whirled around and in a motion a Can-Can dancer would have envied, he planted his foot into Adam’s face. Adam fell back for a moment but leaped forward again. The Professor backed up and growled.

“I am prepared even for you, Adam,” he spat, knocking Adam to the ground with a volley of spit.

Professor B. took a sledgehammer off the wall.

He swung. The sledgehammer made a gruesome crunch as it connected. Adam didn't rise. The figure pulled out a knife and swung downwards. 

"No! Don't!" cried Vikthin. 

The key finished its revolution. The world turned on its side, and its respect for gravity dissipated. 

Vikthin and Adam tumbled across rebellious floor, which had decided it preferred being a wall. Prof. B flew towards the open window. He began to fall, or rather drop, through it; however, he wasn't ready to die yet. He grabbed the sill with both paws and hung, one hundred yards in the sky, over the great ocean.

Vikthin grabbed the semi-conscious Adam as they fell towards the Professor. Adam managed to grasp the desk and Vikthin managed to grasp Adam by the nether parts.

"Oh thit oh th—" Vikthin began to say, but Adam, in his bowdlerizing glory, cut him off.

“I think we’re fine,” Adam said. “This desk isn’t moving.”

Vikthin looked up. The desk wasn’t moving. He remembered it now; it was the famous and gargantuan Desk of the Principal, and it was an heirloom in the Educatorium simply because they had never procured enough manpower to get rid of it. It was made of oak that was so old it could turn back steel. Its selection of drawers was like a jungle, and no principal had yet explored them all.

But Adam was more than enough manpower. He was manpower incarnate. Often Vikthin blessed him for that fact, but at the moment, but as the desk began to budge, Vikthin cursed him.

“Damn,” Vikthin said.

Adam tried to hush him and they both fell.

Below them was a very large blue blur which Vikthin identified as, probably, the ocean. Above them was the Desk of the Principal, shedding dossiers and paperweights.

With an elephantine roar that filled the air, the huge magical engine fired up, sending blasts of energy in random ways. One hit the Desk and away it flew.

Vikthin watched for a moment, then grabbed on to Adam’s shoulder as they fell and realized that Professor B. was holding on to Adam’s other one. Professor B. grimaced at him.

Below them vague shapes began to appear. It looked like toy ships, at first at least. They didn't look like toys much anymore. They weren't heading towards them, though—they seemed to be heading towards a small dinghy.

Their fast descent was slightly slowed by Adam spreading out the best he could. Above them, the OYVE receded to a dot.

Many believe that the sound five hundred pounds of muscle, sinew, and bones hitting a wooden dinghy at seventy miles an hour makes a sound something like crack! This, however, is just not true, at least not in this case. In this case it made a sound that more resembled splat! 

There were seventeen casualties and three survivors to this tragic scene. The survivors didn't include anyone who had previously been on the dinghy, unfortunately for Biast. Good dinghies were becoming increasingly hard to find.

Mr. Tickles was not human. He was not even vaguely shaped like one and he did not act like one. Well, most humans didn't act like him, but they are always the weird ones. He was a maniacal ruler of sorts, only ruling over one mind. That mind was not a human mind, either. He would have found it hard to relate to if it was. 

Mr. Tickles killed for fun. That is, he killed cockroaches and ants. The cockroaches were a rather large accomplishment and he was quite proud. After all in OYVE the cockroaches were powerful beyond belief. it was amazing what you could do with a little poison and a big sledge hammer. Mr. Tickles was in fact a stuffed hyena. Prof. B. belonged to him. And he had lost his servant. 

Prof. B. searched voraciously. He couldn't have lost him! Mr. Tickles was his only friend; they had been friends since Bwehehe's birth. Where was he? A hand grabbed him around his neck from behind and lifted in the air. 

"Where do you think you’re going, prof?" Adam shook the Gnoll, turned him upside down and started to bop him on the rather small deck of the dinghy. 

"That'th enough Adam. We have him capthured now, you don't need to kill him." Vikthin put a hand on Adam's shoulder and he reluctantly set the Gnoll down. 

"Hmm, Professor Bwehehe, not so great outside of his castle, eh? Your name is too big, methinks. I will call you Haha."

The Professor whimpered in shame. Leaving the Educatorium by accident, losing Mr. Tickles, and now this.

Vikthin rolled his eyes. "Alright, call him Haha. Whatever. Right now though we need to row thith thing and follow thothe big thipth. That'th the only way we can thave our familieth. You row, Adam." 

"Okay Vikky. Get to work, Haha."

“Alright.” Haha looked around. “What do I do?”

Vikthin looked at Adam, who sat down and flexed before taking up the oars. “You can thit down and hold on to thomething, ‘cause when Adam thtarth rowing you can eathily lothe your hair.”

Haha sat down hard on his bum as Adam’s back bent at the oars. The water complained with fountain-sized splashes as the dinghy launched off.  Adam did it all with the ease that a two year old dabbles with finger paint. It was for Mummy. Mummy wouldn't be hurt.

© 2009 Scott Free

Author's Note

Scott Free
What do you think? Will Mummy be hurt?
No, but seriously, if it moved to fast or was confusing in any parts, do tell. :D

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Added on September 12, 2009


Scott Free
Scott Free

Caught a wave--am currently sitting on top of the world, CA

Whoo! New year, new site...time for a new biography. I am not like any person you have ever met, for the simple reason that if you are reading this chances are you have never met me and probably ne.. more..