Meet My Friend: Death. Introduction

I dunno...

I stood at the void, looking into the darkness. I looked down at the ground below, not sure if it was the ground or not, for it was too dark. I step forward one step, and my bare toes stick out from the cliff I am standing on. Heart pounding, I take another step. My heels are the only thing keeping me on. A gust of wind blows from behind me, and I slip. I fall down, down into that forbidding darkness. I look up a the the sky, darkened from the clouds of evil that pour into this peaceful land. I look down behind me, thinking of my past life, the life I now wish I had not lived. I remember that face, that one face, and I shiver. Her black hair mangled with twigs and her face bruised from a long journey. But she finds her hero not what she expected, but a monster who turned against her, and her people. Those eyes wide in disbelief, and sadness. Yet I had no choice. I had to do it. I look down again, and it seems I have not moved at all, yet I feel the wind whooshing past me. I close me eyes and wait to the moment when my life will end.

 

Patrik Dragonslayer

Author's Note

I don't care lol

Reviews

[Mandi]

this was a good little introduction! But i found several grammar probs.:

"I look down behind me, thinking of my past life, the life I now wish I had not have." the part "the life i now wish i had not have." doesn't make sense to me. try something like "the life i now wish i hadn't lived." or something like that...

This one too: "Her black hair mangled with twigs and her faced bruised from a long journey." should be her face NOT faced...lol

AND one more...sorry: " I look down again, and it seems I have not moved at all, yet I feel the wind whooshing past he." i don't think it should be 'whooshing past he.' it doesn't make sense.

So yeah, fix those and it'll be great! :D