THE PARTING

sad departures

The dark virus upon us

killer of desires

cleaves our tender attachment

hips lock together

our breaths' steam

clouds our love vision

two haunting college years

giggles, play, study,

hotly sensual hours

like blossoms boast in spring

Shadows shroud us

blossoms wilt

as does our cores

reflections on our drift

assures our own nests

endless oceans asunder

rise of the moon

painful farewell

wet lips entwine

spoons us closer

We part with a cup

rich with water droplets

alone we dream

disturbed we slumber

conceals our agony

romantic whispers over rough seas

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

This is a haunting piece inspired by the current crisis. I don't think it refers to death, but to those who have been separated by necessity because of the virus. Very beautiful use of imagery here, showing how dramatically life has been changed by this plague. The last verse does hold forth some hope; we are parted, but only temporarily.

[Betty Hermelee]

A lovely review and spot on; I got the idea from my granddaughter and boyfriend who had to part at college and we’re pulled home 4,000 miles apart...sad, thank you for you kind comment

[Lale]

As long as their love is true, nothing can beat it, not even this pandemic. Hauntingly beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your kind review! Fondly, Betty

[Lale]

You're welcome..

[barleygirl]

Since I was writing a book in the wilderness, I missed the pandemic mostly & now I'm catching up by reading so many ways of expressing it. I have to say, yours is among the more creative. I'm not even sure how this describes the pandemic climate, but the part that has kept me intensely wondering is how young people's lives have been disrupted, especially with online no-touch graduations & all that. Frankly, after being housebound for 6 years, I don't have a ton of sympathy for the many whiners bemoaning lockdown, but I do feel for the young people. That's why your poem really hits me. I can't help but remember how touching was so central to being young, being together, joining hands, breathing into each other's faces, etc. How can anyone be young when those basics of life are not allowed? (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank ,as always Margie for your critique; I agree that this pandemic affects young people more than me (Ancient) , but still feel a bit trapped, and cannot wrap around my head that we may be wearing masks forever!!! xo

[emmajoy]

College students - young love and floundering.. families living in different areas even oceans apart, hospital staff, service and utilities' workers and others - so many separated - sad, wretched, feeling like half beings, without their beloved darlings. You've captured the sadness and emptiness so well, albeit tragically. But, here and there are snatches of hope between the tears. Thank you for sharing such fine writing. (Had to edit, so many typos: forgive, please)

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Emma for suck great and in-depth review!

[Dara]

This is rich with imagery and very profound especially as it relates to covid 19. I am reminded of the book "Love in the Time of Cholera" and how desperate times call for desperate measures. Parting is always difficult but in times like these with all it's uncertainty, it is even harder. A very extraordinary write and sums it all up so very well!

[Betty Hermelee]

Spot on Dara! I guess it could be called “Life in the Time of Covid”.... thank you for your in-depth review
Kindly, Betty

[Patricia Wedel]

Yes Betty... rough seas and a voyage of uncertainty... and yet... Hope is there where
Hot weather may help to suppress the Virus, and also the Plasma from people who have survived the Virus can be injected into patients with the Virus... is the latest. Prayers and love for everyone. Tenderly, Pat

[Betty Hermelee]

This sums up part of Covid’s wicked path, but not all of it for sure. Thank you for your comments; “rough seas ahead! Fondly, Betty

[Patricia Wedel]

Hi Betty... some grocery stores now have an extra supply of Tonic Water (also Diet) or regular. It is suppose to discourage the Virus .perhaps it is possible.... can’t hurt. Pat

[Ana Papaya]

I think you don't realize how much you need someone until you are forced apart. This poem really captures the relationship between lovers in this time so well.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Ana for your kind review; I look forward to more interactions!!! Fondly, Betty

[Fabian G. Franklin]

There's all sorts of reasons for the parting of people in relationships. My niece died from bacterial meningitis while at college. Just a bacteria picked up from nowhere that killed a vibrant and healthy young woman. But only the parting of death is permanent and not even that if one believes in a reunion in the afterlife. It just gives us something to look forward to when the clouds lift.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your kind review. This couple represents thousands who had to depart college for Covid19 and return home to work online; in this there two are separated by 4,000 miles and who knows what will happen to their relationship....a slice of a new "new normal life"

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of that couple who died recently...she right after he did...they were married for 70 plus years...and both caught the virus...
in their nineties...
we need touch again...
a beautiful write.
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Painful separations Betty. There are many at the moment as a result of this awful virus. Many young people who are unable to continue a physical closeness, who now have to resort even more than usual to technology. Love over the waves. Love by distance. Not quite the same is it? Let's pray we get a vaccine soon. Love your third stanza. So full of beautiful imagery. Not a surplus word, so well conveyed.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Chris; I think this is a dilemma for many young couples...who are pulled away from each other, not by choice!!!

[LJ]

Truthfully, I'm not 100% sure you refer to covid19 here. There are many viruses in the world. And the word "virus" can be used as a metaphor for other invasive happenings.

However, the point is made. Something caused a terrible rift in a relationship that perhaps burned too bright, to use a cliche. I like the words ->"...Shadows shroud us/blossoms wilt/as... ('does' isn't right - you want 'do' to match 'cores') "...as do our cores..."

"We part with a cup
rich with water droplets
alone we dream
disturbed we slumber
conceals our agony
romantic whispers over rough seas"

Sleep is healing, even as 'whispers' travel and it's a rough sea...sleep heals, even with 'agony.'
The poem is a little familiar and sometimes I wished you used more unusual descriptions, but altogether it informs us of passion and reaction. You leave the readers involved, and most likely feeling 'compassion' for the passion that ended so, leaving sadness behind. This is good, actually. I think most often you let readers in to feel what you felt.

I got a bit lost in some description - like "painful farewell/wet lips entwine/spoons us closer" - I see the moon and a farewell, but tripped over the part with spoons, and I'm not sure why. I wish the lines were longer.

Still, this is your style and, for the most part, it succeeds ..."romantic..." and all.
Well-done. I hope to read more about this couple, for couple it seems they remain.
Thanks for a fine poem.

[Betty Hermelee]

Great review! And very helpful too. Unfortunately my poems are more brevity than long and involved; short phrases, slices of emotions but using imagery easily understood.
Thank you again for reading and in-depth comments! Fondly, Betty