Walking Cobwebs

My first attempt at a pantoum

I am standing still in life's busy street
I did not know who or what I should be
Got walking cobwebs all over my feet
Walking cobwebs have got a hold on me

I did not know who or what I should be
So upon apathy I took a seat
Walking cobwebs have got a hold on me
Responsibility I've tried to beat

So upon apathy I took a seat
Spiders of doubt were not letting me see
Responsibility I've tried to beat
Webs of lethargy hang in my brain's tree

Spiders of doubt were not letting me see
Motivation has become obsolete
Webs of lethargy hang in my brain's tree
Dusty thoughts of living are incomplete

Motivation has become obsolete
When walking cobwebs won't set my mind free
Dusty thoughts of living are incomplete
Decayed shadows of my future forsee

When walking cobwebs won't set my mind free
Commitment and retreat always compete
Decayed shadows of my future forsee
I am still standing in life's busy street

2021

Author's Note

I cleared the cobwebs out long ago. This is based on dusty memories of lethargy.

Writing this made Billigami's brain feel all warm and fuzzy! Thanks for telling me about pantoums Mattavalli. Working on a sonnet now. I need to do a Cinquain and Chaiku. Any other forms I should try?

I went with 10 syllables per line. I intentionally flipped the words in the last line.

Reviews

[Patricia]

Isn’t it funny when and where these little moments become life changing? It’s funny I wrote of my cobwebs like ten years ago and was hit the same way you were, just a random moment in life and realize how important it actually is, time to sweep those cobwebs away and make a clean space for something or someone. I love this!

[William Michael Reeves]

I've been enjoying what you've been filling the space with lately. Interesting you came to this. I just mentioned this poem to Robert as one of my songs I turned into a poem. Cobwebs are creepy in a funny sort of way. Ethereal yuck!

[Patricia]

LOL yes they are and thank you. I will help fill your space with my words and you can help fill mine with yours :) cobweb free

[Ada]

This was a nice metaphor; you do a nice job of showing how life's complexity is like a cobweb, which makes this a unique write.

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahaha "Walking Cobwebs" ! I love it sir! you capture the irony of of indecision and apathy very well says i! and i really appreciate the spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs ... making their way into me noddle .. really nice work ... not easy at all to accomplish a proper pantoum .. forms such as these are not an easy task for me but present a very clear challenge .. lots of working and reworking to have it make sense in every day language ... i won't even begin to check for accuracy and accountability to be true to the form .. i still have a headache for the one i worked on several years ago .. i ran it past Richard who has given me suggestions and corrections which i still have not used; but i have his mail saved and i will get it done one of these days ... cobwebs and spiders being what they are ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) great job! loved the read .. so relatable in many situations
E.

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks E. It is tricky thinking a couple steps ahead and try to have it make sense. I'm trying to write a Villanelle which is similar but more difficult. My noodle is full of Billigami and these are the challenges he likes. Is your pantoum still posted? Title? I'll find it eventually. Thanks for appreciating the way this poem turned out. I hope you liked the Senryu I wrote for you.

[Einstein Noodle]

yes .. it is still posted .. i'll find it and send give you the link or a read request .. a senryu for ME!!!!!!!!!! my goodness! i am humbled William .. you are very gracious and kind

[lightsong]

So, now Mr. Bill becomes a varied creator :> why not?! I see You are great in that, the poem flows smoothly from your brain to ours. I love the idea of walking cobwebs. I love spiders (NOT the scary ones) but like the Daddy Long Legs ones, anyway... as thin and fragile as the cobweb is, as it's complex in structure, yet look at the result. a fine piece of art. that's how life... we can create something beautiful from almost nothing. anyway cleansing is important for our minds, hearts, and spirits. Happy cleansing and creating Bill and William :>

[William Michael Reeves]

Your review made me realize I had no thought of what kind of spider. Daddy long legs are perfect! Fuzzy with dust. And if they start looking like tarantula better get out the swiffer! It means a lot to hear you say you recognize the smooth flow of ideas to the readers brain. I work hard on that hoping it reads as I fold it. Hiding and revealing the meaning hoping you'll see all the clues.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This reminded me of a pop song by Gwen Stefani's old band, No Doubt, "Walking into Spiderwebs". I've never been much of one for poetic forms and mold casting. It was okay to experiment with when I was in high school and college...so long ago. It helps one learn discipline and challenges the psyche a bit. But I found over the years that my favorite poets and master poets were those whose only guidelines were the feelings in their hearts, Emily Dickinson, for one example, shunned the literary "form" to create her own style and voice her own heart. And I absolutely love her thoughts on what she thought poetry should be. She said, "“If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can warm me, I know that is poetry. If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry. These are the only ways I know it. Is there any other way?” I enjoyed the read. Merry Christmas.

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks Fabien. I'm with you. For 40 years I've been writing establishing my own unique parameters and expressing all I need within that. I stepped into the cafe a month ago and learned about forms. I only knew haiku and turns out I was wrong about that. So here late in life I'm in poetic school and loving it. My alter ego Billigami loves to fold words into poetic puzzles. He's in heaven in poetic form.

[William Michael Reeves]

Fabian. Sorry

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It's fine. I've been enjoying my Christmas present from my brother, an 1886 edition of Longfellow's Poems. I enjoy Longfellow, Whitman and many others. But Longfellow wrote in many various styles and forms. He's so interesting to read because of that. Happy New Year.

[John the Baptist]

Glad for the author's note indicating the cobwebs were overcome, because I thought I was reading a description of depression. The cobweb imagery and the repeated references to apathy and lethargy are characteristic of those spiraling downward. At the far edge of such a descent are images of guns and blades and bottles of toxic pills. Below depression lies despair, and then it's only a matter of time.

[William Michael Reeves]

The time came and went in many strikes of my clock throughout life. You touch a point...when we pen a poem are we speaking to the present or the past? Trying to guide our future.

[Lydia Shutter]

I so enjoyed the repetition. A well written pantoum. Not easy to write this form. Kudos to you. Glad you were able to clear out the cobwebs....only you can do that. Lydi**

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you. Trying every form.

[Chris Shaw]

Well done you Bill for trying out a pantoum. The repetition works very well. I have never tried one of these. Haven't got the patience these days. Apathy can visit us all from time to time. Best shaken off I think.

Chris

[William Michael Reeves]

Tricky to write for sure! Need to think ahead knowing you're last line has to be the first and start leading to it. Thanks Chris. Merry Christmas!

[Chris Shaw]

Merry Christmas to you too :)

[Writergurl]

Spiders of doubt were not letting me see
Motivation has become obsolete
Webs of lethargy hang in my brain's tree
Dusty thoughts of living are incomplete

I really love this part, this is wonderful. I also love the flow and rhyme scheme

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you! Mattavalli suggested I try a pantoum and the first stanza of this were song lyrics I wrote for a composition that was mostly instrumental. Just a few lines sung to get that plodding dusty feel. For the poem I just elaborated on the idea and really enjoyed writing within the parameters. Easy in some ways.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

What I like is how you express yourself in a light hearted way but with a very deep and insightfull way. I know all too well what you are saying here. I don'y how many times I had to stand still in order to find which wy is best to move forward.