Path of Steel

A Billibun

wonder’s eye beheld a sword

man took hilt in hand

held war’s ancient weight 

balanced time on history 

searching metallic 

thought follows steel’s path

a journey that leads to now

when weapons of war

such as these forged death

presented lay obsolete

for now a future

fashioned in deeds past 

nobly done down right’s sharp edge

changed the course of time 

piercing valor’s point

mystified mind turns honed blade

travels back to hear 

vanquished victims cry

from where they fell left of death 

flat as false doctrine 

fair walks a true edge

did they who sheathed this sword 

wield honor for their charge

or sing a requiem 

for man of olde now new

wonders how courage had

fought hand to heart must ask

death stains fresh earth turned

hope over fear falls life lost

mourning dove cries who

Author's Note

This was my first attempt at writing a haibun which is poetic prose paired with haiku. I didn’t really have a grasp of prose and thought it was anything goes. So billigami thought he’d get tricky and write it in a 7/5/5 7/5/5 syllable count with a balanced conclusion of 6 lines with 6 syllables. It got a dismal D from the alpha dog. I scrapped it thinking I might turn it into something else, but I like it just like this. In the spirit of Japanese poetry I removed the punctuation, pronouns and elision. Callin’ it a billibun.

On a more serious note, I held this sword that my friend has. Hard to fathom what that must have been like to go at a guy with one. Man.

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi Micheal,
I see you are on line so I thought I would try and find a poem of yours I had not read and came across this one.
Wow, a D... of course I wonder why. I thought it was rather amazing, but then again what do I know... What was so amazing was the way your words made me feel.
The important thing is that you liked it enough to post it.
The topic is also rather wonderful...
I say Bravo my dear Michael,
Lisa, still in Spain

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you Lisa. The only reason I got a D was it didn't qualify as poetic prose. Good idea but bad form. I did finally find a voice for prose in 'Garden of Inanimate Delights'. If I made you feel, then the poem is a success! Thank you!

I literally had just read your new 'Ruby' poem and was about to review it after responding to lightsong. Poetic connections are so cool, even when your friend is all the way over there ... in Spain.

[Lisasview]

Wonderful to hear from you!!
You are most welcome...
Lisa

[John the Baptist]

Ah, that we still fought with swords and daggers. Its was bloody, grisly stuff, but it was up front, eyeball to eyeball, hand to hand. Nowadays a drone operated by someone thousands of miles away can vaporize you before you know what happened.

[William Michael Reeves]

The result is no less grisly I'm sure.

[willweb]

I liked how this felt when I read it though I didn't snap to the syllable count but nice job with that.
I too have held a sword in my hand and wondered the same thing. I was tired after swinging it three or four times. You have forged a winner here my friend. This poem is potent...this poem will Keel. : )

[William Michael Reeves]

A man of olde had to be pumped up. His life depended on it. Not to mention nerves of steel. You have a way with words willweb. I'll go ahead and claim victory, sheathing my pen in the satisfaction of your review. Thank you

[Einstein Noodle]

well done .. the noble ideals of those days of the sword .. honor, courage in the face of death .. mano e mano .. no killing at unimaginable distances ... in bulk .. pity bullies and dishonorable villains force hands of violence ... over so many many years of written and discovered history .. one would think we would be sickened of it enough to stop .. but villainy lives in the dark place my friend .. and refuses the light ;) one of the few things i enjoy watching in the Olympics is the fencing ... your poem reminds me of what history of the sword i do know and inspires me to learn more .. the story of cold steel is so tightly wound in humans' .. really inspiring poetry .. funny how a plan gone awry (dismal D eh?!) can morph into a thing of it's own unique genre .. mighty fine read for me sir
E.

[William Michael Reeves]

As my poetic subjects have expanded I find much satisfaction in the research. I learned so much about swords writing this one. We are sickened by the dishonorable death. Dishonorable daily death in our society. But the dark devils don't inhabit our light, only try to snuff it out. Thank you for the profound review E!

[duff]

Steel tells a story from beginning to end. Something resilient no matter the time. From buildings to war the variety is vast. I enjoyed it William.

[William Michael Reeves]

Maybe more than any other antique, weapons of war carry tales we can't imagine. And probably better to not. Thanks duff

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful words and thoughts shared William. My unit clean-up the dead at Dead Valley. Half pieces of men and some were barely alive. We drugged them, for them to die with less pain.
"death stains fresh earth turned
hope over fear falls life lost
mourning dove cries who"
The above lines could stand alone. No-one wins in war. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you. The lines you keyed in on were meant to stand alone. It was intended to be a haiku. The rest of the poem was an attempt at prose. Your experience is one of reasons I wrote this. How can a man like myself who has never experienced war, truly understand it. Your compassion in those moments has a true edge. I imagine your experience has given you a true edge.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the poetry and you are welcome William.

[Betty Hermelee]

In the days of old that was one the ways to die, stabbed by a sword that turns to blood, a steel sword; That was then, but now we use guns, chemical weapons, poison, missiles; its' quite different, so many choices, so many ways to kill... it's become very scary. ...So many deaths or no reason... I'm a pacifist at heart... hard to relate even to steel swords.
Best, B

[William Michael Reeves]

That's kind of just what I was writing about here. How hard it is for a modern man to relate to what that must have been like. Intimate warfare. Unlike the distant war of today. Thanks B

[Betty Hermelee]

A great review, I really loved it...
Best, B

[Chris Shaw]

Got a real fear of steel blades. Sends shivers down my spine and gives me nightmares. That sword would give me nightmares. I reckon in a previous life I died a violent death :)) All that hand to hand combat. So terrifying and bloody. These days it is so remote. Just fire a missile or send in a drone. There are occasions when war can be justified but there have been many when it can't. Fighting for your freedom or your life is justified in my opinion.War for other reasons is evil. Your bilibun took me to many places and situations. Good poetry does that. I hope the sword you have written about was used in valor.

Chris

[William Michael Reeves]

I suspect what we see in movies is far from the reality of what that must have been like. I hope the sword was an honorable one too. And I’ve got to admit I like where warfare is going. The good can protect and defend from a distance. Like Israel’s iron dome and cyber war that can just shut the enemy down without shedding blood. I hope you slept well and my poem only caused temporary temporal trauma. Thanks Chris.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

weapons of valor, weapons of war...fighting for freedom, fighting to stay alive these are valid arguments for wars to be waged...but wars for the sake of power taint those weapons...tarnish logic.
I really like this poem.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

Honor tarnished by tainted logic. Messing up the petina of peace. As I posted this I kept thinking about how weapons and how they're used has changed. A man at one time had to climb over his dead buddy's body so he could shoot at the hills. Now, they sit in a bunker and guide a drone to take out the enemy when he steps out on to the deck. War used to be so intimate. Thanks j