Weeping for the Sun

Watching the sun rise as the moon sets,

I shed a tear for these seperated lovers,

Doomed to forever gaze in longing,

Across the distant sky.

One must lay down to die, so that the other may live,

I weep for the sun, as the stars weep for the moon,

The oceans of my eyes blur the sight.

And for a scintillating moment in tear filled eyes,

The two are one - together again.

Reviews

[Wolfhilde]

Lovely poem! well done.

[wolfshrew]

the beauty in this was easy for me to soak in, nice work.

[KonxOmPax]

Great poem, it flows very nicely. Refreshing, the feel of the poem is very authentic and the imagery formulates itself clearly in my mind's eye.

[Angelic Darkness]

Oh, this is a beautiful poem of a love story between the moon and
sun. It's short, but the beauty here is breathtaking.

The sacrifice for one to go on to live for the other.

Thank you for sharing..AD

[Kayla]

i love this rendition of the lughnassadh story-it sweet and simple. I love the lines,
"One must lay down to die, so that the other may live,

I weep for the sun, as the stars weep for the moon" those are really nice baby. I think with some minor tweaking, this will be a beautiful poem.
love you,
Awena

[Pax Analog]

Cool. Unrequited soli-lunar romance.

I suspect the Moon is having great tantric sex with the Sun during a lunar or solar eclipse. Even "star-crossed" lovers get a "honeymoon" or "mini-vacation" reprieve.

Enjoyable and ingenious poem. Rather like a blend of the Italo Calvino of "Cosmicomics" with some lost poet of the Romantic era.

So the poet's tear-blurred optics are not the only togetherness time for these stellar bodies-in-motion.

Good work, and cheerz!

[Amant Cache]

Am I to take this to be the story of our father god and mother goddess...oh how I can relate to divinity's sorrow at times....I only hope for a celestial love like theirs...one spoken of in whispers and sung about for ages.

Then again, I could be completely off target here...

But knowing you- I suspect not.

I love your work my friend.

Thank you for sharing!

Always,

W

[March Books]

Billy,

what an amazing verse, both lyrical and visual.

my absolute favorite line - The oceans of my eyes blur the sight -

and the sun and the moon become one (you draw a beautiful image)

very well done

[Bexers]

Is this about war? Or just people being seperated by circumstances in general - either way it was a very good read.

"The oceans of my eyes blur the sight." This reminds me of a similar concept I had a while back.

Keep up the good work!