My Little Hand

moving poem about a child's journey to heaven.

Holding on with a gentle clutch,

Making cute gestures, didn't take much.

My family pray, feeling my touch.

Dimming lights, garbled and such.

mother stands, watching my wings.

amazed yet dazed, 

i'm destined for things.

I fly up to heaven,

welcomed at the gates.

Hold on one second,

it is here he waits.

statured before me is the greatest of man

my very own father 

takes 

MY LITTLE HAND 

Author's Note

feedback wanted. thanks guys and girls

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

This is a really beautiful write for a guy who claims not to do poetry. Formatting issues: consider not so much mixing of capitals unless there is a rhyme or reason to it, which it doesn't seem to follow a distinct pattern. For example, first four lines capitalized, switches, then switches in middle. Doesn't seem to have a reason to do it. i'm followed by I works if there is a reason for it within the poem. and MY LITTLE HAND might be better off to the side, in a smaller, italicized font. Just my opinion, mind you, but the words are much better than the format in this piece.

[BlakeDuckers]

thank you for your wisdom! I was really pleased with this considering i don't really try poems and know nil about formats haha! thank you

[Michael Oliver]

Try more you have something in the way you arrange your thoughts - good - touching - and above all honest. I liked it a lot

[BlakeDuckers]

thank you Mr Oliver, i appreciate that loads.

[Omar Fendri]

This is sincere and touching.
The poems says a lot through simple words and simple yet elegant imagery.
I don't rhyme for I believe it demotes my imagination, but here... everything goes swiftly. :)

[BlakeDuckers]

thank you friend :)

[Amanda J Hopwood]

Brought tears to my eyes. I have lost before. Before we even had a chance to meet. So from that point and having three living children it touches a deep place within me.

[BlakeDuckers]

aww thank you Amanda thats really kind of you, i'm glad you like it :)

[Sarai Lee]

This is beautiful and sweet, and very well written. It is full of sorrow and bittersweet joys as meeting ones creator, and as a mother it makes my heart ache. Every child is destined for great things, even if we can not understand what. Well done with this piece!

[BlakeDuckers]

Thank you loads :) thats really nice