When Mate..?

This Corrupted World we are Living in!!

Politicians Abuse the Majority.

Poor People on Welfare Living In Misery.

Tax Cuts don't Help the Homeless Living

in The Street That  Live of Charity.

 

Everyday I Witness Black on Black Killings,

Sitting on That 60% of us In Prison.

Leaders Addicted To War Addiction!

Taxing Everything including Co2 Emissions.

David Cameron Must be Gassed The Bloody Villain!

Bombing Innocent Children is The New Competition 

I See People Running To The White House With a Morning Vision.

Dr King had a Dream but all is not what it Seems

Anyone Can Chat S**t Trough a Mic From a Distance. 

But Where is that Person That Would Sleep With The Homeless,

and Sees The Reality of What They Are Missing.

And Does Something about it While They are Taking Their Time out to Listen.

Hopefully one Day We Can Save This Planet From

Hypocrite Leaders,Warlords,and Politicians aka Hope feeders!!!!!

Reviews

[BLACK PRINCE]

keep it real my brother.

MY brother, you see the content is deep
but trust me, you need to structure it
as in the stanzas ( paragraph )
to illustrate and capture the meaning
more precisely and powerfully and strategically, word for word.

And as a poet you have to familiarize yourself with counting syllables,
that way one line is not too longer than the rest of the lines
That can kill the rhythm and structure,
although that's not your intention.

By the way, a syllable is the number of beat in a word.
So, you must learn to count the number of beats in a phrase per line.
It is really mathematics and poetry collaborating.
Example: the day and the night have a date
Counting the beats in that phrase would be like this:
the day and the night have a date
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
This means there are 8 beats in that phrase.
That's how you count the syllables (beats) per line.
So, for example, if your first line has 8 or 10 beats,
than you would want the rest to follow in that order
to give the poem a rhythm, structure, and timing.
That'll immensely help the rhythmic flow of the poem.

Do you notice in your poem how one line is too longer than the rest?
This can affect the meaning and produce an effect you didn't intend.

Now imagine if the first line has got 8 beats,
then another line has got 15 beats,
then another line has got 6 beats...
this definitely distorts and fragments the poem's rhythm and structure.

Or you could do this as a variation of rhythm and structure:
first line 10 beats
second line 7 beats ( consider these 4 lines as a paragraph )
third line 10 beats ( then space after the first 4 lines, that's the new paragraph)
fourth line 7 beats
you can make first line rhyme with third line
then make second line rhyme with fourth line
You can always make the mathematical variation,
but make sure and be always aware of the syllables ( beats per line )

[Fabio_Cassilias]

Thank you my Dear..

[SHEEMA HUQ]

a healthy, channelled run of vexations and sounds like a much needed cynical rant